I desperately wanted a homebirth, but don’t have the option. The midwives in my area will only perform a homebirth when there is a midwife-friendly hospital nearby. My hospital is not, and the next nearest hospital is an hour and a half away. I’m frustrated at the stigma of midwives and homebirths, and even more upset that I’ve moved to Ontario where the healthcare is “free”, but I have no options.

I have 3 sons and I’ve had one of each experience. Like you I hated hospitals but ended up there when I had my first son cause there were no homebirth midwives in my area. I was induced and endured about 15 hrs of contractions without an epidural while being on pitocin and being hooked to a monitor. I then eventually had the epidural after being threatened with a c section. After all was said and done I was disappointed in the experience but at least I was holding my healthy baby. My next son was born at home. My labor was 6 hrs start to finish and he was born on my bed and not taken from me ever! It was a night and day difference. My youngest son was born in a free standing birth center. Each of the boys are only 18 months apart and I couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket for another homebirth but my insurance full covered the birth center. I arrived there at 5 in the morning at 3 cm and at 6:18 he was born straight into my husbands arms in the birthing tub. I was then back in my own home by 10. I will always recommend a homebirth or birth center to moms!

I have 3 sons and I’ve had one of each experience. Like you I hated hospitals but ended up there when I had my first son cause there were no homebirth midwives in my area. I was induced and endured about 15 hrs of contractions without an epidural while being on pitocin and being hooked to a monitor. I then eventually had the epidural after being threatened with a c section. After all was said and done I was disappointed in the experience but at least I was holding my healthy baby. My next son was born at home. My labor was 6 hrs start to finish and he was born on my bed and not taken from me ever! It was a night and day difference. My youngest son was born in a free standing birth center. Each of the boys are only 18 months apart and I couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket for another homebirth but my insurance full covered the birth center. I arrived there at 5 in the morning at 3 cm and at 6:18 he was born straight into my husbands arms in the birthing tub. I was then back in my own home by 10. I will always recommend a homebirth or birth center to moms!

I, too, wanted a homebirth. Ideally, I wanted to birth in a tub. I’d still like to try that, but I live in a remote part of BC, and we have no midwives in this town, which is ironic, as it’s a very hippie-ish community. It made me nervous that our hospital has a high C-section rate in comparison with the rest of the province, but my dr (my GP, because our one OB is for high-risk pregnancies) assured me that most of the doctors and the hospital promoted intervention only as necessary, and that they had a very hands-off approach. I said I didn’t want a hep lock (IV site) inserted when I arrived; she said they don’t do that. I said I didn’t want anyone asking if I wanted an epidural; she said they’d probably ask when I arrived, but that I only had to say no once. I said I didn’t want an episiotomy; she said she’d only done a handful herself, and they certainly weren’t routine. I felt better. I said I wanted to labor in a tub; she said that hospital policy said I could labor in a tub as long as my water hadn’t broken. Well, my water broke before I went to the hospital, but they still let me try the tub (which was, as it turned out, just a really horrible bathtub, worse than the one I was in at home). I won’t have a problem going back to the hospital for any future births–the people on staff at the maternity ward are awesome, as evidenced by a second stay I had there recently when I had some gall bladder trouble and they put me in a maternity room so that I could have a private room and keep my daughter & husband with me–though I would really like to try one at home (but wouldn’t dream of doing it without a midwife). The only “trouble” we had after the birth was when a tech came to do a second heel stick, after my daughter had spent some time in a UV chamber, and she wanted to take the baby down the hall to another room and my husband insisted that she do it right there in the room, with both of us holding our daughter. She grumbled about it the whole time (“It’s against policy. People think it’s okay to break policy, but it’s not. This is what happens when we’re inconsistent.”), but when it was all done, she looked amazed: “She didn’t cry. They always cry.”

I, too, wanted a homebirth. Ideally, I wanted to birth in a tub. I’d still like to try that, but I live in a remote part of BC, and we have no midwives in this town, which is ironic, as it’s a very hippie-ish community. It made me nervous that our hospital has a high C-section rate in comparison with the rest of the province, but my dr (my GP, because our one OB is for high-risk pregnancies) assured me that most of the doctors and the hospital promoted intervention only as necessary, and that they had a very hands-off approach. I said I didn’t want a hep lock (IV site) inserted when I arrived; she said they don’t do that. I said I didn’t want anyone asking if I wanted an epidural; she said they’d probably ask when I arrived, but that I only had to say no once. I said I didn’t want an episiotomy; she said she’d only done a handful herself, and they certainly weren’t routine. I felt better. I said I wanted to labor in a tub; she said that hospital policy said I could labor in a tub as long as my water hadn’t broken. Well, my water broke before I went to the hospital, but they still let me try the tub (which was, as it turned out, just a really horrible bathtub, worse than the one I was in at home). I won’t have a problem going back to the hospital for any future births–the people on staff at the maternity ward are awesome, as evidenced by a second stay I had there recently when I had some gall bladder trouble and they put me in a maternity room so that I could have a private room and keep my daughter & husband with me–though I would really like to try one at home (but wouldn’t dream of doing it without a midwife). The only “trouble” we had after the birth was when a tech came to do a second heel stick, after my daughter had spent some time in a UV chamber, and she wanted to take the baby down the hall to another room and my husband insisted that she do it right there in the room, with both of us holding our daughter. She grumbled about it the whole time (“It’s against policy. People think it’s okay to break policy, but it’s not. This is what happens when we’re inconsistent.”), but when it was all done, she looked amazed: “She didn’t cry. They always cry.”

I read this post with some sadness, but also concern. Full disclosure – I deliver babies, have an MD. I also have 5 of my own. I feel sad that women feel so incapable of advocating for themselves during a hospital birth experience, even though these same women are educated and strong willed in other areas of their lives. I think that you should be careful about encouraging home birth without a full grasp of the risks and benefits. Although complications arise in both settings, a baby is more likely to die a preventable death in an out of hospital labor setting. I had natural, intervention free labors in the hospital, and would not have it any other way. These deliveries could have all been at home, and I could be crowing about it here. If that had been the case, it would have been dumb luck.   I think that every expectant parent should stand back from the forest of trendy home birth talk – giving birth is not the same as having a spa treatment – we are talking about a medical situation that in rare circumstances can go wrong without the warning or prior knowledge that the blogger here points out are sometimes present. Don’t miss the trees people – my babies are healthy and happy and don’t know that I did not birth at home in a tub with Yanni playing in the background. I believe there was a good NBC news video about a home birth gone wrong, the parents were inspired by the Business of Being born – their baby was stillborn in their NY apartment, down the block from the hospital. Peace.

I have often thought of a home birth for my children. With my first child, I had about a week of false labor. When it was time for labor, it began around 6 at night. It was a 40 min. drive to my hospital (I chose my ob for the hospital to deliver at) due to traffic. My son was delivered before 8 that same night. He was my first child, those labors normally take the longest but my labor was tough and if I was not in the hospital my son may not be alive today because he could not be delivered without cutting his cord first. afterwards he needed to have oxygen for quite a while and I would not have wanted that to happen anywhere but a hospital.
With my second child, I thought of homebirth because I had done this all natural the first time and knew I could. I decided though to go back to the hospital and am glad I did or my daughter might not be here today. No one could have known but both of my babies had short cords and needed to have them cut before being born.
I think that part of having a good hospital experience is having a good hospital. I made sure to travel further than needed to go to a hospital I would feel comfortable at. The one close to me intervenes too much in my eyes, so I went to one that is more hands off.
I think having the right OB and hospital are key to having a good experience with a hospital birth. Also, not every birth for the same mom is the same. While one birth may be terrible and need all these interventions, another one may have gone perfectly in the hospital. Homebirths can be great, but so can hospital births. We just need to have the good stories told for both. So many times you only here the horror stories for hospitals and only the good ones for homebirths. It can go either way.

A home birth would have been lovely, but to me, the most important thing was everyone being safe and healthy, whatever that meant. I had a wonderful, natural birth in a po-dunk hospital. I definitely don’t regret it. One of my delivery nurses even trained with Ina May on the farm. It was a good experience. 

I believe that women should be able to choose where and how they give birth and that they need to empower themselves with the tools and knowledge that will lead them to a successful birth where ever that is. So I don’t really like the blanket statement that giving birth in a hospital is bad or equals a bad experience. It really doesn’t have to be that. There are always going to be things that are out of our control during the birthing experience… whether it’s the snotty nurse on duty or the only midwife in the area being sick with the flu, or an abrupted placenta. We all have to determine our own level of comfort with our birthing situations and make the best decisions. 

It sounds like a lot of the negativity from your first birth experience was because you weren’t well informed and intune with what you wanted in a birth experience. Having a homebirth puts the responsibility on you to prepare yourself and environment. If you had done as much effort with your first birth your experience might have been very different. 

My baby was born in a very tiny hospital, but he was conceived in a very large and expensive one after many months of heartache. I put a lot of effort into his conception and nearly as much effort into preparing for his birth and I was very happy with both. 

I always appreciate your blog and opinions. I think you’ve done lots of good representing home birth and I understand why you are impassioned about it. I don’t think it will be our choice, but I will always keep it in mind if we have another child but I hope women that are reading this and preparing for birth don’t get too discouraged by this post. Hospital birth doesn’t have to be a regrettable experience. Consider your options and channel the mama-bear within you to make those plans happen. Your best birth can be anywhere. 

I would LOVE a home birth, but, honestly, I am scared at the thought of one. Don’t get me wrong, my hospital birth did NOT go how I hoped. They said I had to get the IV, but I asked they not put anything in it unless I need it. They did anyway. I wanted to walk around, but they made me get in bed after I dilated quickly. I wanted to be in a different position, but they said I HAD to be on my back for delivery. My baby got stuck a little bit. Surprise? Not really, I was stuck ON MY FREAKING BACK! I had to work against gravity! They tried the kiwi a few times, but it kept popping off. I had no medications what so ever, but ended up being rushed back to the OR for a cesarean due to the baby’s heart rate dropping. (this was actually because I was STUCK ON MY BACK -cough-) His heart rate stabilized when we got back there, so they let me keep pushing. I delivered vaginally in the OR with no meds. My son, who scored an 8.9 on his immediate apgar (even though was technically a preemie at 36 weeks) was doing great, but was not brought to me for over 2 1/2 hours. I stressed how much I wanted to have him and feed him immediately, but when the time came, they whisked him off and I was left wondering where the heck my baby was.  I wish there was a birthing center around here, I really do. That would be ideal for me, I think. The hospital one town over has birthing pools in each delivery room, I think I’ll go that route next time. I’ve already contacted them (not even expecting yet!) and asked a million questions…. they also let you deliver in any position you want, and you don’t have to be in the bed or birthing tub. We’ll see how that one goes.

Some hospitals also have “birth centers” attached to the L&D ward. They try to make it as home like as possible and don’t offer epidurals. They also only accept low risk patients, similar to a homebith midwife. If all hospital wards were like the nicer birth center units I wouldn’t mind delivering there as much. Safety is a huge concnern for parents and homebirth is scary idea. It isn’t something I went into lightly at all.
I hope everyone finds the right place for them.

Wow, I am sorry for your experience.  I have to say though not every hospital birth has to be bad.  I am a mother of 7 precious children each one delivered at a hospital.  I have birthed at 3 different hospitals due to various moves.  Each hospital has had different protocol, but I am very upfront with the staff and my OB.  My OB knows that if my husband would be on board I would love to home birth so he meets me half way.  For example, hospital policy is an IV for every delivering mom then you have to have the IV for 8 hours after delivery.  I take the IV during labor in case of emergencies only and then after delivery he checks my bleeding an if it is not heavy my IV comes out.  He doesn’t make me have it for 8 hours.  He also knows I don’t want any pain medication.  During my last delivery just before pushing to deliver my son I made a statement about not feeling ready and that I couldn’t do it.  The nurse immediately wanted to give me something in my IV for pain and he looked at her and said, “she is fine, she is still in control, leave her be.”  A few minutes later my son was born.  He is also willing to discharge me early if I want because I bounce back so quickly and he has never once wanted to do an episiotomy, which is very important to me as I have never had stitches and I don’t want them.  He is also OK with homebirthing he feels it is a good option for some but not all. 

Moms don’t have to feel like a victim stand up and advocate for yourself and have your birth partner advocate for you. 

My advice for moms who are having a hospital delivery is stay home as long as you can and relax.  I have delivered enough babies now to know exactly when I need to leave to make it in time for delivery.  I am usually only there a little over an hour when my babies are born. 

So glad your home birth experience has been a positive one. I have several home birthing friends and they all love it!

We’ve had 2 birthing center births and 1 completely unassisted hospital birth.  It is all in how BADLY you want it, I think.  I went in before our son was born and talked with the hospital administrator and the head nurses and my OB and explained that I would sign whatever they needed me to sign so that I wouldn’t have all the standard stuff done to me or my baby.  We ended up having a fabulous experience, (not as good as birthing center, but…still good) but not every woman knows how to fight.  And that is why I educate now.  I’ve had the privilege of attending 2 births in the last 2 weeks at the hospital and there is a long way to go.  We just don’t talk about this enough in America, so THANK YOU, Kim, for speaking up and making this a topic of conversation.

I think it is wonderful that you had the blessing to deliver 2 healthy children. I am grateful that your homebirth turned out well. However, I wonder if all of your readers are going to have such a problem free delivery. I understand that not all hospital staff have extraordinary bedside manners or that the facilities all seem equally welcoming, but I can assure you they are not all the same. My best friend, had a easy, problem free pregnancy. Let’s say that she would have opted for a home birth. Her and baby would have died. Even the 5 minutes it would have taken for the ambulance to get there probably would have left her son with life long neurological defects. Another story is of a woman who had a homebirth. Luckily, her MIL (in the health care field), was there. When she started to bleed out, the MIL knew to call the ambulance faster than the midwife. Luckily, both Mom & baby survived. I am all for getting back to basics, organic, all-natural eating, living, etc, however technology is advancing rather than regressing for a reason.

It’s disappointing, but not surprising, how negative these comments are.  It’s possible, but the odds are against you, to have an intervention free, positive birth experience in a hospital, and of course things vary with location.  I was treated horribly at a hospital, it’s still too raw to go posting the details in comments though. 
 Even in a hospital, it takes time to prep an OR, and if you’re going there because of the small chance something can go wrong then make sure its one with a NICU and an anesthesiologist there 24/7.  Also, having a doula there is a big help.

It’s disappointing, but not surprising, how negative these comments are.  It’s possible, but the odds are against you, to have an intervention free, positive birth experience in a hospital, and of course things vary with location.  I was treated horribly at a hospital, it’s still too raw to go posting the details in comments though. 
 Even in a hospital, it takes time to prep an OR, and if you’re going there because of the small chance something can go wrong then make sure its one with a NICU and an anesthesiologist there 24/7.  Also, having a doula there is a big help.

I am so scared to have a homebirth because if anything were to go wrong, the nearest hospital is 2 hours away. That said, I plan to have a natural birth in the hospital.

home birth is certainly not ‘trendy’….humankind has been having babies at home for hundreds of thousands of years. just like the crib, a hospital setting to bring a child into the world is very, very new in civilization. my father is an MD as well – why does the medical community proclaim “luck” as the reason for Mother Nature doing what she is supposed to do. complications for low risk pregnancies arise 9 times out of 10 from medical intervention.

this is exactly how I felt and why I gave birth to my first child, my beautiful baby girl, at home – unassisted because I could not find a midwife in the entire state of arizona that would or could attend a home birth. everything went just as I imagined and I am so, so thankful that I never once stepped foot in that hospital. like you, they freak me out and are there for a purpose but birthing babies natually isn’t one of them! thanks for sharing.