My local town now has a real cloth diaper shop inside of Shoppingtown Mall.  Basic Baby opened their doors last Saturday and I took a trip to see how things looked.  Prior to Basic Baby opening their doors in CNY, the next closest place to find cloth diapers in person would have been Jillian’s Drawers in Ithaca, NY or Luvaboos in Rochester, NY.  There was definitely a need for a cloth diaper store here, which was apparent by how busy the Grand Opening was!  I am amazed at how the store came together so quickly!  Everett LOVES the wooden car we bought from the store made by Under the Green Umbrella.

Front of the Shop

Picked Apart Display of Under the Green Umbrella

See Everett playing with his new toy from BB

A happy customer

Josh, the cloth diaper Dad and Owner

To say I am not terrified of giving birth naturally would be lying. Labor is painful (unless you are an amazing hypobirther or you have that rare disease where you don’t feel pain) and I am afraid I will suck at it.  But then again, I am ready to go for it!  And I am excited to do my birth my way with the wonderful support system I am putting in place.  I will have my midwife, the assistant, my doula, and my husband.

My husband, son, and I went to meet my homebirth midwife for the first time on Tuesday.  We came armed with a million questions and stayed for 2 hours.  Even though I have been using a midwife for my prenatal care thus far, the one on one attention we received at this appointment was more than the combined time I have talked with my former midwife.  It felt great to discuss all of my fears, concerns, ambitions, goals, hopes, and expectations.  The room was relaxed, and there was a playroom that kept my son occupied nearly the entire time.  I thought sharing the questions my husband and I came up with would potentially help other couples who are considering homebirth, even if some seem silly!

1. Tub rental: do you rent a tub, which tub, and how much?

2. Does the tub come with a pump (for drainage)?

3.What documents do you need (medical history from prev doctor)?

4. What number do we call, back up numbers?

5. Travel time (she is 1.5 hours away):  when do we call?

6. What do you bring (medical supplies like oxygen)?

7. What if there is a transfer, do you have hospital privileges?

8. Should I have a birth plan?

9. Payment: upfront or after billing insurance?

10. Is there a specific birth kit you want me to buy?

11.  Should we have 2 plans (in case of change to a hospital)?

12. If the blood sugar is low for baby, what would you do?

13.  If baby shows signs of jaundice, what to do?

14. When/ how do we follow-up with pediatrician?

15.   Birth Certificate/ etc, how is this done?

16.  Clean-up?!?!  Who does this and how? (my husband’s number one concern.  Answer: they do it all)

17. What do we need in house that isn’t in the birth kit?

18.  What is your record of c sections/ transfers.

19.  If I need stitching?

20.  Tear prevention massage?

21.  Medical waste disposal?

22.  How long do you stay after the birth?

23.  How late can I go?  How will you monitor to make sure it is safe to go over?  Natural induction methods?

24. If I go “too late” would I need to deliver in a hospital?

25. What would warrant a change to a hospital birth?

26.   If in a tub, how do you tell if the cord is wrapped around neck?

27.  If I am Group B positive, what happens then?

28.  What about pushing the tummy to get blood out?  Not needed?

All of these questions were answered for us.  Some answers were surprising (like that nurses don’t need to push on your stomach every hour and wake you up, but you can do it yourself if you want) and some were reassuring (her second time mom rate of C Sections was 1% for 20 years).  I felt very at ease with her and am very confident she can help me have a wonderful birth experience.  I never would have considered homebirth with my first child, and I can tell you if I had my husband would not have budged on it.  Now, we have both learned a lot about being parents and pregnancy, as well as how the “system” isn’t always in the best interest of the mother and child.  I regret my induction with my son, which was not necessary.  If only I had known!  We had a positive outcome and still had a vaginal birth, but so many women are induced for no reason and end up having a C-Section.  I ordered my birth kit already and it is on the way, and there are so many other things to prepare.  It has been a long battle to get this homebirth, but in a way I always knew it would happen. Every time I imagined giving birth to my son it was at home.  Now it is a reality.  Yikes!

My next baby will be here in a few short weeks and I am feeling the anxiety.  I don’t have a baby bath tub, or enough swaddling blankets.  I have to pull out all of those fun things like burp cloths and my handy Nose Frida (no bulb syringe here, this thing works great!).  I also need to get a new dresser to hold enough clothes for 2 children.

What I won’t be preparing: bottles.  Won’t use them.  Pump: probably won’t be using that either, though I may grab it in a moment of engorged desperation.  Nursery: baby will be either sleeping next to me in bed or next to our bed in our Hushamok hammock.

What I hope not to prepare: a hospital labor bag!  I will find out very soon if homebirth is a possibility for us.  Since the MMA (Midwifery Modernization Act) passed and Certified Nurse Midwives have the right to practice homebirths in the state of NY without a signed practice agreement with an OB, there is hope.  The only foreseeable block is that my potential midwife already has a mom due at the end of October and she also wants to take some time off that month.  If she can get coverage from one of the other midwives in Ithaca then I should be good.  The next hurdle would just be meeting with her and making sure I am comfortable with her.  It looks like my insurance does cover homebirth, at least 70%.  NY State does have a law stating a woman has the right to choose her birth setting and doctor and insurance must cover it.  Strange that NY is great for Homebirth in terms of insurance, but it took so long for homebirths to be practiced without the legal tape and hoops.

Besides my obvious reasons for wanting a homebirth, the main perk would be not having to scramble for childcare when I go into labor.  Living far from friends and family is very hard, and even harder when you need to leave your house in a relative hurry with short notice.  Grandma’s are good for that, “friends” are not.  Especially those with jobs and children.  I would still want to have someone come to help with Fletcher depending on the time.  But at least he wouldn’t have to pack up and come to the hospital with us, which is what I am afraid of.

If things don’t pan out then I will be ok, but only because I do love my current midwife.  She is caring and competent and will make my birth experience as close to a home birth as possible.  I would actually be sad to lose her if I get my homebirth.  I only wish she could deliver me at home!

Pregnancy wise, this has been a breeze compared to my first.  With my first I weighed close to what I weigh now before I even got pregnant.  And I kept gaining.  I had constant hip pain very early on.  It hurt to walk up and down stairs.  I ran out of breath, my Gestational Diabetes had me on far fewer carbs than I can eat now, and I was generally pretty miserable.  These days I forget I am pregnant.  While I am beginning to experience trouble sleeping and some hip pain at night, during the day I am comfortable.  My GERD has settled down thanks to my Gestational Diabetes diet and I stopped taking any medications for it besides the occasional Tums.  I do have to pee a lot but I don’t think there is a way to avoid that at this point.  I am also getting a little lazy.  My floor hasn’t been mopped in a couple of weeks!  The only reason it isn’t coated with crumbs is that I have a Roomba.

I am getting more and more excited about meeting my next son.  I am also starting to dread the impending loss of sleep that I have only recently started getting.  I am afraid two children will kill me, especially since the one I have keeps me busy enough.  Still, I will be happy to have him here with us!

Image: Free Our Midwives

The past few weeks I have been feeling a need to really own my birth experience this time around.  My son’s birth was a very medical one.  I was induced at 39 weeks because his abdomen was measuring small and because I had gestational diabetes.  I was not going to be allowed to go over 40 weeks no matter what.  I was given pitocin and chained to a bed or glider for something like 22 hours.  Bed to chair, chair to bed.  No wonder I couldn’t manage my pain (or pee for that matter.)

I was slow to progress and stayed at a 2 for a very long time.  When I got to a 3 I asked for the epi.  I was ashamed of myself but between the nausea and humpback contractions (no one warned me about that… I was one of the lucky ones) and exhaustion I needed that break.  I slept for a few hours and when I woke up they told me I was a 10.  Shocking how out of it I was for the last few hours of my labor.

They turned the epi off and I pushed for 3 hours.  By the time I was in the homestretch the epi had mostly worn off and I was able to work with my contractions to get him out.

When I got pregnant with number two I was once again planning to try for a natural birth.  I looked for a midwife who would support me in that decision.  I did not do research with my OB and had someone I wasn’t happy with.  I found a wonderful midwife and a very pro natural birth practice.  I will be working with a doula as well.

This week I decided I wanted a home birth.  I used to be pretty afraid of that option.  As much as I admired those women who did it, I was worried about being too far from a hospital.  The idea just wouldn’t shake.  Imagining laboring in my own home, where I could get comfortable, take a shower, be in a tub, get a drink or snack, and be with my son made me decide I wanted to look into it.

I approached the subject with my husband.  He was less than thrilled.  After begging I was granted a phone call to a homebirth midwife.  The closest ones are all 1.5 hours away.  I told him it was unlikely to begin with since I am far along and they have to select patients who fit their schedule.

Not only was the midwife going to be on sabbatical, but apparently insurance issues made the decision for me.  As of July 1 midwives from Ithaca can not do home births.

In NY state Midwives have to have a practice agreement with an OB.  These midwives had one with an Ithaca doctor.  Then, he terminated that thanks to insurance issues.

Basically no woman in my area can have a home birth.

I was crushed.  I had this vision of being relaxed and at peace in my home.  Instead I will have another hospital birth.  I am hoping the doula and caring midwife will help me be strong and avoid an epidural.

It is so sad that my choice was taken from me.  If this is my last baby I will never get the home birth experience.  And if the laws aren’t changed, neither will hundreds of other mothers in my area.

Free Our Midwives is working to change the law to help midwives in NY practice.  Hopefully they do!