Christine Gross-Loh has agreed to answer some questions about her book, The Diaper Free Baby.  She has her own blog, Origami Mommy, and has a blog about Elimination Communication in the works.  I hope you all enjoy reading her answers as much as I did.  If you are interested in purchasing her book, you can click the link.

About the Author: Christine Gross-Loh is a freelance writer with a PhD from Harvard University. Her writing has appeared in Mothering, Shape, and Parenting. She is very involved in DiaperFreeBabyTM, a nonprofit organization founded in 2004 to promote awareness of EC. She has appeared on The Early Show and Paula Zahn Now, among others. Gross-Loh lives in Tokyo, Japan, with her husband and children.

Many times parents who are interested in being in tune with their child are also committed to living a life that is gentle on the earth, so many of these groups of people overlap. A lot of times you’ll find parents who are initially interested in cloth diapering and then discover that it is perfectly compatible with EC.

Read my review of The Diaper Free Baby here or find my other posts about EC here.

This is part one of a two part post.  Tomorrow stay tuned for a Q&A with Christine Gross-Loh about her book.

My journey to Elimination Communication has only just begun, and since I came to it knowing little, to nothing about how EC works,  I decided internet research alone could only go so far.  The internet did lead me to an excellent book to read which has helped my journey tremendously.  The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative, authored by Christine Gross-Loh, is an invaluable tool to anyone hoping to practice EC.  The most important thing that the book hopes to get across is this: EC is not an all or nothing endeavor.  When my friends find out about my son using a potty at 6 months old, I can only imagine what images run through their minds.  Do they picture me holding him captive on a potty while he screams and squirms to be released from my icy grasp?  Or, do they imagine my son naked, spraying his urine wildly in the air like a fire house, with no control over his bodily functions?  Maybe they think I am constantly scrubbing my carpet?  I honestly don’t know what they think, nor do I care.  I only wish they would all read this book!  Christine breaks EC into categories, or tracks, based upon the time and effort you wish to put into it.  You can practice EC on a full time basis.  A full time ECer would aim to catch (a term ECers use when referring to their child peeing on a potty, or into a diaper) virtually all of their child’s eliminations.  A part-time ECer wants to practice when they can, but probably won’t let their child be completely diaper free.  They would also probably not practice EC out of the home.  They may also only catch bowel movements, which for most children are the easiest to predict.  An occasional ECer may only catch 1 pee or poop a day, if that.  They may be working parents who have only evenings and weekends to attempt.  Or, they might just offer a potty break during prime times like in the morning or at a diaper change.  Between the three tracks there is tons of wiggle room.  That is what I love about EC!  My first day I caught 7 pees!  I was extremely intent on my new hobby.  But, life gets hectic.  If I am running errands I fall back to diapers and only attempt potty time 1-3 times that day.

My son practicing being diaper free. You may be able to see the pee in the potty.

The book is laid out based on these tracks, and also the time at which you have decided to start trying EC with your child.  I found it extremely helpful that the book was organized as a reference tool.  If you didn’t start until your child was in middle infancy, you could turn to that section.  She went over the basics all over again, briefly, and then offered suggestions on the best ways to begin EC with a baby at that age.  And, if you started from birth, you could skip to how to practice at that moment, without reading the introductions.  I had no idea there were so many ways to practice EC.  If you began from birth, she discussed the different holds you could use to position a newborn over a toilet or sink.  As the baby ages and potties can be used, there are tricks on how to make potty time fun.  All of these things will help in my journey.

When I had just barely read the introduction, I started my first “half” day of EC.  I had just gone to Babies R Us and purchased my little potty, and was ecstatic to begin using it.  I knew that day my son needed to have a BM.  I had him sitting on his potty, but he wanted to stand.  He kept his legs straight, and his knees locked.  This is not conducive to being a boy, and peeing.  When he did pee, he peed on me.  This, my friends, is what you call a “miss”.  Except, instead of not knowing he had to go, and letting it happen in a diaper or on the floor, it happened on me.  While I focused on the fact that he must have some more pee coming… he was focused on something else.  He secretly, and very quietly, with no facial expressions or grunts, crapped on the front of the potty, and on the floor.  I had no clue until I felt the crap- with my foot.

A few nights later I finally got the time to read more of my book.  I was feeling pretty bad about my only experience with EC.  My hopes were high that The Diaper Free Baby could give me some miracle answer to save my EC attempts in the future.  I wouldn’t call it a magic answer, but I did learn things that saved our EC journey, and put it back on track.  First, it suggested to try offering the potty at certain times of the day, when babies are most likely to pee.  Of course!  I offered the potty to my son the morning after I read this.  He peed!  Oh how exciting, I cannot even express how cool that was!  I continued offering him the potty after he awoke from naps, and after nursing.  By just offering at those times I caught 7 pees.  I missed about 4 in diapers which were placed on him, or under him.  The next tip: use “cues” to help baby understand when to potty.  Basically, every time your baby pees, even if it is in a diaper, you should make a “psst” noise, or say pee.  And for poops, a grunting noise, or say poop, or whatever you want.  Eventually, your baby will associate the noise to the action, and can then be “cued” to do it by the noise!  If you think that is crazy, it isn’t.  My son has a pavlovian response to the click of my nursing bra.  His mouth opens, and he gets into position!  Maybe I am imagining things, but after a few pees with the “psst” noise, I noticed he began contracting his stomach muscles and forced himself to pee when I cued him on the potty.  It wasn’t always like that, but it happens sometimes.

The book also lays out some essential tools you will need for practicing EC, and some not so essential, but helpful, items.  I remember my uncle telling me how odd it was to see babies and toddlers walking around China wearing crotchless pants.  Of course now I realize these babies were ECing, and the parents decided to make life easier by letting them be diaper free, but decided to keep their legs warm!  I already owned Baby Legs, which make diaper changing easy; they also make diaper free time easy as well!  Potties are mentioned as well.  I purchased the Baby Bjorn Little Potty.  She even gives a mini introduction to cloth diapers, and outlines the types and functions of the diapers available.

7-08-09 My son finally sat on the potty to pee!!!

To anyone even slightly curious about Elimination Communication, go to your library and check out The Diaper Free Baby.  Or, purchase your own copy.  It is an invaluable resource for someone starting EC, and a good read for anyone just curious!  By reading the book, you aren’t guaranteed success, and it won’t impart to you the perfect way to EC.  Every child is different, and so far I have been very lucky.  We may hit a potty pause, which is also addressed in the book.  For now, I am enjoying keeping my son comfortable and dry, and saving myself some diaper laundry.  The book also notes that just because you EC, if doesn’t guarantee that your child will be potty TRAINED at an earlier age than other children.  Your chances of that are very high, but not guaranteed.  So, if you are intrigued, please give EC a chance in your home.  Just try putting your child over your own toilet once, just once, first thing in the morning.  You may catch a pee, and be hooked!

*** I really debated about whether or not I should show this video I took of my son peeing on the potty.  I may take it down quickly, but I wanted to show what EC looks like.  A word or warning, there is full frontal baby nudity.  Obviously this is not a sexual thing, but if you are offended by a baby penis then don’t click on the video.  Also, I want to add that since taking this video he has learned to sit on the potty to pee.***

If you want to purchase a copy you can find it on amazon.com

This morning I awoke to a familiar, but completely unwelcome sight:  A small wet spot on my sheets.  No, I did not wet my bed!  But my son did.  Of course, he didn’t do it on purpose.  He is just a baby.  Somewhere along the line we had a cloth diaper failure.  Half awake (this was at 6:00 am) I picked my son up from our cozy bed.  Instead of morning cuddles like usual I had to tend to his wet clothing.  

I examined the culprit- a Blueberry One Size Pocket Diaper with snaps.  It was stuffed with a hemp and micofiber combo insert.  I couldn’t figure out any structural failure (a fit issue).  It had to be repelling.  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fast forward to 8:00 am.  Fletcher was now in a Bum Genius 3.0.  I decided it was time for both of us to take a nap.  We cuddled up in bed and fell asleep.  Once again, I woke up to a familiar site:  Another puddle!  Thankfully I had not changed the sheets yet, I just moved over to the other side of the bed!  Again, I was robbed of my cuddle time.  When my son wakes up he is the happiest baby.  He loves to roll around and play right after waking.  Instead, I ran him over to the changing table to get a fresh diaper and change his outfit, again.

So yes, I am having a repelling issue.  This means I have to strip my diapers of any and all detergent that has built up on them, causing them to let pee slide right off of them.  I am not a fan of bleach, so I will be using hot washed with dawn, followed by a lot of rinsing.  Looks like today is going to be a great day to EC!

Yes, my husband wasted 4.5 ounces of my milk.  *cries*

BONUS WW.

Practicing being Diaper Free.  Notice… he has scooted mostly off of his “diaper.”

After taking a little break from EC over the weekend, this morning I was determined to get my son to his baby bjorn little potty first thing in the morning.  I knew this would be my best chance to catch a pee, since he normally pees as soon as he wakes up.  

He woke up at 8:30.  I heard the rustling, so I ran into his room and promptly undressed him.  He was airlifted to the little potty, which I had set up this morning.  A Sham Wow had been placed underneath, just in case.

I sat him on his potty.  He was more willing to “sit” but still tried to squirm, letting me know he was not 100% about the cold potty he was on, or his sitting.  But, within seconds he started to tinkle!  He was very close to the edge so some hit the pee guard was went over.  Still, he peed on, and *mostly* in the potty!  And a few minutes later he nursed, and right after I put him on the potty again.  This time, he made some gas so I was expecting a poo.  But instead he peed.  Which again, mostly when in the potty since he was in a semi standing position.

I am not worried about it not going all in!  I am just excited that I have been able to time our potty time correctly, twice.  One thing about EC is that it can get very discouraging after missing many times.  For now, I plan in leaving him diaperless for times right after he pees in the potty.  When he is at home, I will keep him in coverless diapers the other times.  This way if I miss one, I am able to tell right away and still mentally log what he was doing when it happened.  And what time it was.  Did he just eat?  How long since he was breastfed?  Etc.

I have saved 2 diapers already today!  What is better than cloth diapers for my baby and the environment………. NO DIAPERS!!!!

I went to Babies r Us today to purchase my Baby Bjorn Little Potty.  My excuse for not starting ECing in earnest was that I had no vessel for my son to use.  I did try holding him over my big toilet when I was expecting a poop once, but he cried and wiggled.  It didn’t work well for either of us.  Up until now I have been letting him go diaperless some evenings while playing on the floor.  Sometimes I catch the pee with a prefold… sometimes he sprays himself.  Pee is sterile… 

Today was my big day.  I have been reading The Diaper Free Baby.  I was stoked.  Everything this book says makes perfect sense to me.  Babies have the instinct to not sit in their own filth.  Learn to read the signs, and you can communicate with your child enough to let them be diaper free.  It is not an all or nothing thing.  Many experienced ECers still have what they call “misses”.  My first day could be described as a BIG miss.

Once we were home I was ready to pull out my little potty and and let my baby experience a little freedom.  I sat and played with him on the floor for probably 45 minutes.  He didn’t once tinkle.  He did begin passing some gas.  I knew he had to have a BM today since it had been 3 days since his last.  The gas was a clear sign he needed to go.  I kept holding him over the potty, however he would not bend his legs to where I could sit him on it.  This was rather annoying.

Once it came to nap time I put a prefold underneath him and pulled it up on top of his penis in case he had an accident while sleeping.  When he woke up I put a diaper on him to give myself a break from “potty watch”.  About an hour later I laid him on the ground to play with him and removed his diaper again.  He passed gas again.  Let’s hold him over the potty.  Nothing.  He wouldn’t sit down.  We kept playing in very close proximity to the potty.  

He cued me to nurse so I put a prefold between his pee pee and myself while I breastfed him on the floor.  Once done, I had him standing in front of me, keeping an eye for any signs he needed to pee.  Guess what sign I got?  Pee!!!  He peed on my jeans, I turned him toward the potty but of course he was finished already.  Wam bam Thank ya Ma’am.  I had read, and expereinced, that babies often pee once, and pee again in quick succesion.  I had him facing the potty and watching closely for more pee, or signs of more pee.  This is just what he had planned.  

While I am fiercely concentrating on his face and penis… he decides to poop, while standing up, right next to my foot.  I honestly didn’t even see it coming.  He made no grunt, no face, no bathroom sounds, nothing.  I didn’t even realize he had gone until my foot moved half an inch and I felt a squishy, wet, warm  sensation.

I swiftly moved him toward the potty.  Of course he won’t sit, but it didn’t matter since he had already done what he needed to do.  It was on the blanket, on my foot, and some made it on the carpet.

Here is what I learned from today’s big miss.  

1.  My son does not sit on a potty.  He never used a bumbo, or wants to sit now, so why did I expect him to sit on a potty?  I believe I will wait to try EC for poops until he is more comfortable with sitting.

2.  Always have a blanket all the way under the potty and you.  My blanket ended next to the potty.  Hence… poop on the carpet.  

3.  My child does a lot of gas passing before he poops.  But HOURS before.  His actual poop comes as a sneak attack.  I have noticed this when he is in diapers but my suspicions have been confirmed.  This is going to make my life a little harder.

4.  The world didn’t end because my son pooped and peed on me.  It sounds gross, and it was, but I washed up, gave him a bath, and went about my day.  Immediately after that, he spit up on me.  Par for the course.   

Hopefully, some of you had a good laugh at my day!