My second birth experience was a homebirth and I wouldn’t change a thing. But I also had a hospital delivery in what I believe to be a wonderful hospital. At the time I was looking for OB GYN’s (I never considered a midwife, it was so far off my radar you wouldn’t believe it.  I was quite a different person then and not educated in childbirth, breastfeeding, or AP anything) based on the recommendations of my husband’s co worker’s.  I switched OB’s early on because my first doctor would see us for 5 minutes after the nurse did all of the heavy lifting.  He criticized me for gaining too much weight too quickly, frankly, he was right, but it wasn’t in the nicest tone.

We picked a new OB GYN based on the hospital he delivered at and the fact that his office was 8 minutes from my house.  St. Joseph’s Medical Center was touted as a wonderful place to give birth.  They even had The Birth Place, an epidural free zone meant for low risk, natural birth deliveries that was more like home.  I wanted to give birth there but didn’t get to (I was “high risk” with Gestational Diabetes).

Still, this hospital was wonderful.  It is also one of very few “Baby Friendly” hospitals in the nation.

The Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI) is a global program sponsored by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) to encourage and recognize hospitals and birthing centers that offer an optimal level of care for infant feeding. The BFHI assists hospitals in giving mothers the information, confidence, and skills needed to successfully initiate and continue breastfeeding their babies or feeding formula safely, and gives special recognition to hospitals that have done so.

My labor and delivery nurses honored my birth plan.  I won’t write out my own birth story, but the induction process itself inhibited my desire to labor the way I wanted.  This ultimately led me to get an epidural.  This was not spurred on by my nurses or my doctor.  In fact, the doctor who delivered my son (not my own OB who was not on call) accepted our plan to leave the cord attached (delayed cord clamping) and allowed me to pull my son out on my own.

St Joseph’s also encourages “rooming in.” Rooming in means your baby is with you at all times as long as you are both healthy.  The nurses will likely change your baby but you are in charge of the rest.  Hopefully your hospital also allows your significant other to stay the night to help you.  Nurses will help you around the clock to nurse you baby (hopefully) if you need the assistance. If you are set on breastfeeding your baby you will want to insist on this.  If yours does not have this policy you may want to look around for a new hospital or ask if you can room in anyways.

Giving birth at a “baby friendly” hospital means you will also have access to excellent Lactation Consultants.  I have already written about how my Lactation Consultant saved my breastfeeding relationship with my first son.  I had free follow ups and I took advantage of them.

You will also want to ask:

• “What is your hospital’s C-Section rate?”
• “Can I eat during my labor?”
• “Can I eat my own food?”
• “Is there a shower or tub I can labor in”
• Are the rooms equipped with birth balls, birth stools, or other labor tools?”
• “Am I required to be monitored?”
• “Will the nurses read over my birth plan and honor it?”
• “If I have a C-Section, can I use a mirror to view the birth?”
• “Will I be able to nurse my baby within 15 minutes, barring any immediate complications?”
• “Can I check out early?”
• “Can I have a waterbirth if I choose?” (some hospitals have tubs for waterbirths, others allow you to bring your own tub.)
• “Can my doula be present?”

If you are delivering in a birth center that does not allow epidurals, you will want to ask what the transfer plan is in case of an emergency C-Section or if you decide you want pain medication.

Choosing the right care provider, whether it be an OB GYN or midwife, is also important. I can’t say that one is more important than the other.  Even the best provider can’t provide you with your birth experience if the hospital is working against you, and vice versa.  Most of these questions can apply to finding your provider.  If you are looking for a homebirth midwife I have a list of questions that you may want to copy.

Every woman deserves quality medical care.  I am so happy I chose a homebirth, but I know even if I had known more about childbirth while pregnant with my first son I still would have birthed in a hospital.  Being a first time mom, I wouldn’t have known how my labor would be, and being in a hospital would have felt safer.  However, I would have educated myself better about inductions and would have chosen a midwife rather than an OB GYN.  Unfortunately many women have no choices in hospitals because they only have the one in their town. In this case you will want to be your own advocate! Hire a doula, make sure your husband is on the same page with you regarding your birth plan.  And speaking of birth plans, having one that is too long or too strict may do more harm than good. Sometimes it is best to have 2, a detailed plan to discuss with the doctor/midwife who will be delivering you, and a shorter, list form for the labor nurses.  They will be more likely to read it this way.

After some thought I did decide that I will be live tweeting my homebirth! Due to the unpredictable nature of labor I don’t know when/ how often I will update.  I have told my husband what I want done and he will take over updates once I get to a point where I would rather not be tweeting.

So, here are the details:

Follow me on Twitter if you aren’t already. @KimRosas

Watch my updates.  When I do go into labor, I will begin tweeting with the #twitterbirth hashtag.  If I am lucky, no one else will be tweeting their birth with this hashtag as well.  This way, you could search for it (or just read my stream) to see all of my updates.

Not on Twitter and you don’t want to join?  I will be choosing some updates to also be shared on my Facebook Fan Page (Facebook.com/dirtydiaperlaundry). If we update with less frequency I may share them all.  I just don’t want to overtake anyone’s feed!

In addition, I will post to the blog once I go into labor (a pre-written blog post will go up just reminding you to follow Twitter/Facebook for the updates.)

I will be signing my updates as -K, my husband will be -S, and if my doula gets in on the action she will be -M.

You are welcome to root me on by tweeting back at me or by commenting on a facebook update.  I will keep Tweetgrid open to view replies for a good morale boost if I need it!

Less than 2 weeks until my due date, so let’s just say I should definitely have a baby within the next 4 weeks!

To say I am not terrified of giving birth naturally would be lying. Labor is painful (unless you are an amazing hypobirther or you have that rare disease where you don’t feel pain) and I am afraid I will suck at it.  But then again, I am ready to go for it!  And I am excited to do my birth my way with the wonderful support system I am putting in place.  I will have my midwife, the assistant, my doula, and my husband.

My husband, son, and I went to meet my homebirth midwife for the first time on Tuesday.  We came armed with a million questions and stayed for 2 hours.  Even though I have been using a midwife for my prenatal care thus far, the one on one attention we received at this appointment was more than the combined time I have talked with my former midwife.  It felt great to discuss all of my fears, concerns, ambitions, goals, hopes, and expectations.  The room was relaxed, and there was a playroom that kept my son occupied nearly the entire time.  I thought sharing the questions my husband and I came up with would potentially help other couples who are considering homebirth, even if some seem silly!

1. Tub rental: do you rent a tub, which tub, and how much?

2. Does the tub come with a pump (for drainage)?

3.What documents do you need (medical history from prev doctor)?

4. What number do we call, back up numbers?

5. Travel time (she is 1.5 hours away):  when do we call?

6. What do you bring (medical supplies like oxygen)?

7. What if there is a transfer, do you have hospital privileges?

8. Should I have a birth plan?

9. Payment: upfront or after billing insurance?

10. Is there a specific birth kit you want me to buy?

11.  Should we have 2 plans (in case of change to a hospital)?

12. If the blood sugar is low for baby, what would you do?

13.  If baby shows signs of jaundice, what to do?

14. When/ how do we follow-up with pediatrician?

15.   Birth Certificate/ etc, how is this done?

16.  Clean-up?!?!  Who does this and how? (my husband’s number one concern.  Answer: they do it all)

17. What do we need in house that isn’t in the birth kit?

18.  What is your record of c sections/ transfers.

19.  If I need stitching?

20.  Tear prevention massage?

21.  Medical waste disposal?

22.  How long do you stay after the birth?

23.  How late can I go?  How will you monitor to make sure it is safe to go over?  Natural induction methods?

24. If I go “too late” would I need to deliver in a hospital?

25. What would warrant a change to a hospital birth?

26.   If in a tub, how do you tell if the cord is wrapped around neck?

27.  If I am Group B positive, what happens then?

28.  What about pushing the tummy to get blood out?  Not needed?

All of these questions were answered for us.  Some answers were surprising (like that nurses don’t need to push on your stomach every hour and wake you up, but you can do it yourself if you want) and some were reassuring (her second time mom rate of C Sections was 1% for 20 years).  I felt very at ease with her and am very confident she can help me have a wonderful birth experience.  I never would have considered homebirth with my first child, and I can tell you if I had my husband would not have budged on it.  Now, we have both learned a lot about being parents and pregnancy, as well as how the “system” isn’t always in the best interest of the mother and child.  I regret my induction with my son, which was not necessary.  If only I had known!  We had a positive outcome and still had a vaginal birth, but so many women are induced for no reason and end up having a C-Section.  I ordered my birth kit already and it is on the way, and there are so many other things to prepare.  It has been a long battle to get this homebirth, but in a way I always knew it would happen. Every time I imagined giving birth to my son it was at home.  Now it is a reality.  Yikes!

My next birth experience will be in roughly 107 days, at a hospital located about 15 minutes from my home, and will hopefully be attended by my Midwife, my husband, and my doula.

Things I would like to be different from my first birth.

• I do not want to be induced again.
• I do not want to be chained to an IV pole and fetal monitor
• I do not want to have limited access to a shower (I had none)
• I do not want to be barred from any food from the start of labor until giving birth. (I did not eat for over 24 hours and all I could think about was food, not my labor or my baby)
• I do not want to receive pain medication (I did receive an epidural.  Though the nap was nice, I am hoping having food, not being induced, and laboring at home more will prevent this)
• I do not want to be told when to push.
• I do not want my baby to be prevented from nursing within the first 45 minutes because he is breathing a tiny bit funny.

Things I want to be the same as my first birth.

• I do want my husband by my side (at my beck and call)
• I do want A Lindt Chocolate bar in my labor bag for after delivery (Since I had gestational diabetes last time.  I test in 3 weeks)
• I do want the most delicious tuna sandwich in the world after delivery, especially if it is at 4 am.
• I do want great nurses who are supportive and helpful.
• I do want to delay the cord clamping.
• I do want to pull my son out myself once the shoulders are out and put him on my chest.
• I do want a lactation consultant to check with our nursing progress, even though I am an experienced breastfeeder, my son won’t be an experienced nurser.
• I do want to cuddle my adorable new son, who will be rooming in with me.

I am looking for an almost entirely different experience that my last.  I am hoping that my midwife will allow me to go into labor naturally even if I have gestational diabetes.  I also just met with my doula and I believe she is going to help tremendously with attaining a natural birth.  The only concern I have currently is who will watch my son while I am in the hospital.  We do not have family (or friends really) in the area.  My son relies on me to fall asleep for his naps and at night.  He also sleeps with us the majority of the night.  Me being gone will be hard for both of us.

Now that I have a great support team in place all I need is to wait for my son to arrive.  Hopefully that will be on 10-10-10.