This post about about menstruation. You have been warned.
I haven’t had a period in almost 100 weeks. That is about 24 months or 2 years. Everett is 14 months old and I was pregnant for 41.5 weeks. Before that I had 2 cycles and went 1 year and 5 days without a period while breastfeeding Fletcher plus the 38 weeks while I was pregnant. 200 weeks without a period from the past 4 years. I’m not complaining, I think that is pretty awesome and that I’m lucky. Breastfeeding works to keep menstruation at bay for me but it doesn’t for everyone.
But. (Yes, there is a but.) I’m reaching the stage of paranoia. Every twinge of the abdomen, every uncomfortable feeling, every back ache makes me run to the bathroom expecting to see red. Usually I chant to myself while pulling down my pants “please no red, please no red, please no red” and sigh with relief when I see none.
I would happily breastfeed for another year or more if it came with a guarantee of a life without periods. In fact, I am one handed typing this while breastfeeding my 14 month old and bouncing him to sleep on my yoga ball. I haz talent. One reason I’m sure my period hasn’t returned is that we are still nursing on demand 24/7. I don’t keep track but I would guess that Everett nurses 4-12 times a day and 2-4 times at night.
Once my lovely lady returns I will be attempting to use the Diva Cup. After starting to use cloth diapers on Fletcher I learned about the wonderful world of reusable menstrual products. There are cloth options for Moms (called Mama Cloth) and those come in a variety of absorbency levels (just like disposable Maxi Pads) and even panty liners. Because I was a tampon girl before learning about a reusable feminine care I will be giving the reusable menstrual cup a go.
My opinion on the Diva Cup went from the initial “Ewww” to the curious “How do you get it IN there, won’t you have to put your hands in that thing….” to “OK, I’m intrigued, tell me more” to the research phase and the “Hmmm… that is kinda cool.” and finally to the “I’m gonna buy one. This is better than disposable tampons and will save money and waste.”
Unlike my environmental drive to use cloth diapers the deciding factor to use a Diva Cup was really based on what using chemical and paper products INSIDE my body was doing to it. I have yet to actually go out and purchase a Diva Cup because I am trying not to tempt fate. Part of me would like to be prepared and the other is too superstitious. If I have one SHE will finally come back.
If I had the sanity for it I am pretty sure I would just keep getting pregnant and breastfeeding. That is how much I hate periods.
The longer I nurse the more I start longing for the days of wearing beautiful, lacy, SEXY bras again. I know part of this is tied to wanting to feel sexy again, and part is getting over the hump of the after pregnancy/birth lack of *ahem* desire for certain things. Once that desire is back I would like to start looking more desirable and less “sweatpants.”
Usually nursing and sexy bras don’t go together. There are many brands offering cozy and comfortable nursing bras. I should know, I own many of them and wear them on a daily basis. However, when I get all dressed up I would like to have a bra that matches that feeling. Something sexy, lacy, feminine, and that still gives me access to nurse my baby.
Enter the Cake Lingerie line of nursing bras. Out of the “sexy” brands now offered for nursing bras I feel this brand is the sexiest! I was fortunate enough to get to see their line in person at ABC Kids Expo. These bras are made better and designed better than the bras I wore before having kids.
Cake Lingerie does make the popular nursing bra option of the “smooth cup” for under T-Shirts, and more day to day wear bras. For my review I was able to try one of the bras in their Fashion line. I was sent Coconut Ice (Plunge). This bra has a lot of details- lace all the way around, pretty pink and black striped fabric on the bust, decorative straps, a oretty black bow in the center, and a multitude of settings on the back for the ever changing pregnant and nursing figure.
After doing some playing around with the straps and adjusting it to my size, I was happy to find a different kind of silhouette than my every day nursing bras achieved. It wasn’t something I would wear under my everyday tight T-Shirts, but would look pretty awesome under my nice dresses. It was more of a “bombshell” shape.
It was a challenge for me to decide on a size. The company uses a different sizing system and I was torn as to what would fit best. After some translating from the European sizes and talking with Ashleigh from Cake Lingerie, I decided on a 32 D and it was a bit too big in the cup. I used some padded inserts from a bikini I had laying around in order to test the shape better. In most other brands from the US I am usually a 32 D- 32 DD.
I loved everything about the bra when it came to the shape, the appearance, the quality, and the attention to details. The only thing was that my skin didn’t like the lace! Insert sad face here. I just couldn’t wear this bra all day. By the late afternoon I was one of those women who walk in from a day out at work/ running errands, who immediately unclasp and throw off their bra. It was kind of funny because I have been wearing shapeless and plain cotton nursing bras for so long I forgot what wearing something “pretty” actually felt like before having babies. The band with the lace trim caused some itching. It wasn’t the FIT that made it uncomfortable. I would like to try their Toffee bra in the future; with no lace I expect it would be much more comfortable for longer periods of time. It is also the ONLY nursing bra with a convertible strap option!
One thing that is nice about the shape of this bra is the wide set straps. Often, with nursing bras your straps are more centered to the cup. Certain shirts require wider straps or else they will be visible. I like to wear this bra with my Toni Top, and even though that top is so wide set they somtimes sneak out, this is a bra that works with it. Plus the straps are pretty, black, and lacy, so it works.
I was so impressed with the company and I’m thrilled that I met them at ABC Kids. They really understand what goes into making a maternity and nursing bra. They offer a huge variety of sizes, including Plus Sizes, and styles. I’ve never talked to a man who knows more about nursing bras than Keith, who was at the booth during ABC Kids.
I’m going to be stalking Zulily and hope that Cake Lingerie comes back so that I can try one of their other bras. Admittedly, their price is high at around 59.00 per bra. After you have tried a lot of cheaper bras and realize how quickly they wear out their welcome and lose shape you start thinking of more expensive bras as an investment. It has been a gradual shift in my thinking. But, I still prefer saving money when I can, which is why I try catching good brands like Cake Lingerie on sale.
You can also find Cake Lingerie at A Mother’s Boutique here in the US in select styles. If you are unsure of your size I know Judy will answer your questions.
{Email subscribers should click over to see the embedded video} I love spending time with my family during the Holidays. This means there are get togethers and maybe even a party or two. These events, at least in my family, are LOUD and packed with people you see only once or twice a year and some people you see often.
As much as I advocate for women to nurse in public I will admit that I am nervous about nursing in front of my own family. I haven’t put my finger on the reason. Part of it could be that I am not very comfortable around some of my family members to begin with, and part could be the fear of slipping and showing more of my breast than I would like to.
I do not use covers and don’t plan to start now. Everett wouldn’t have it either. He is also a very distracted nurser so I have to either find a quiet place to nurse him, or come armed with items that make it easier for him to nurse without popping off every 5 seconds and exposing my nipple.
When I went to the ABC Kids Expo I was fortunate enough to find a few things (and came home with them too!) that do just that. I show them off on my video embedded above, but I’ve also written more about them.
The first is the Toni Top designed by the same woman who masterminded the (uh-ma-zing) Pumpease Handsfree Nursing Bra. The Toni Top is meant to be worn by women who are pregnant, nursing, or not nursing. It doesn’t look like a maternity or breastfeeding top. In fact, it is one of the most stylish tops in my wardrobe right now. The criss-crossed panels move up or down to allow you to nurse discreetly. I demo-ed the top at ABC and was able to easily keep myself covered whenever Ev decided, on a whim, to pop off. It makes nursing a distracted toddler easy. I will say that you have to find just the right nursing bra to work with the top since it is cut in a diamond shape. Your bra will need straps that are wider set. I have found my HOTMilk and Cake Lingerie to be the best fit, however they still can show. I do usually just put a black tank top with 1 inch straps on under. These will cover my straps. I would also love for it to come in an XS and more colors, perhaps a goldenrod yellow or avocado green?! (I just saw that Smoke is the next color and they will have a pencil skirt to match. I need them BOTH!)
My second “MUST HAVE” for nursing in public and keeping Everett happy and contained is my Mommy Necklace. I’ve been a fan since I discovered them early in my first son’s life, so almost 3 years ago now. I only have a couple but I could easily buy more if my wallet let me. Mommy Necklaces are designed to be handled by babies but look stylish. They have various styles, lengths, and pendant choices. I prefer the dangling donut myself.
When you really need a baby to be entertained you will want to bring out the big guns…. the Nourish. Nourish is the classier cousin of the Snazzy. I used to use the Snazzy when I was flying and needed to keep the little hands occupied. Nourish is a more toned down version of Snazzy. It still has a lot of color to it, but it keeps to a jewel tone family and not primary colors and rainbows. The beads are more rounded in case you are babywearing (the Snazzy had a few square beads and Raelynn explained her reason for changing this was for babywearing in case the baby was laying on it) but it is still a fun necklace for the baby to explore.
Another option in the necklace department would be Teething Bling. It is more simple than a Mommy Necklace but provides something for the babies to nibble on and the large donut is easily palmed. They offer a variety of colors and some patterns. I have a bronze and black and wear them both; they happen to match most of my wardrobe.
A Mother’s Boutique saw my post of me nursing my son in the Toni Top and said I was so pretty in it (Judy, I had to tell someone!) that she would love me to review it and would love to sponsor a giveaway. I had planned on posting about the top at some point anyways since I love it so much, so a giveaway in conjunction is just icing on the cake! In case you aren’t aware, Judy is the Boobie Whisperer and can help any of you find the perfect nursing bra. She offers virtual fittings too.
Now for the Giveaway!!! I will be giving a Toni Top away to one lucky DDL reader. I also have a Nourish Necklace that I was given at ABC Kids to give to one of my readers! Enter on the Rafflecopter below. You will need Javascript enabled to enter.
Select links included in this post are affiliate links. I will receive a small percentage of any purchases made through them , so thank you!
Everett recently turned a year old, but this week marks the one year anniversary of bouncing on my big orange ball.
Regular readers can probably cite many references to my yoga ball. It all started when Ev was a week old. That first week was blissful; he slept most of the day and the entire night with the exception of dream feeding at night. I was counting my lucky stars that everything was going smoothly. One day things changed- my once content baby was suddenly screaming. It didn’t sound like a normal fussy cry. My poor newborn seemed like he was in pain and I had no idea how to help.
I tried the usual suspects: gas, keeping a dry diaper on at all times, nursing, etc…. On a whim I tried sitting on my Birth Ball while holding him. I bounced and he calmed down. He stopped screaming, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was a ball of nerves but bouncing on that ball turned me into one large aching muscle. It didn’t matter though because my baby was happy and sleeping.
Every night around 9 pm I had to bounce my baby and nurse him to sleep. My husband and I would watch a movie while my older son was in bed. I held my new baby and bounced. When my back was in such pain I could hardly stand it I would hand him to Steven and he would bounce him. Back and forth it went until I took him to bed with me. Some nights he needed to be bounced back to sleep but in general it was just a late evening fussy period.
It took a few weeks for me to figure out that Everett was sensitive to dairy. By the time the elimination diet worked and he was out of that constant screaming phase he was used to being bounced to sleep.
Along the way the ball became a part of our lives. It was my right arm. Many major events were spent on that ball. Fletcher’s 2nd birthday and Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas Morning, almost every meal in the early days, and so on.
At 2 months old we drove to visit our family and left the ball at home. At the hotel after my baby screamed and screamed I sent my husband off to the front desk. I had him ask their permission to borrow the yoga ball in their fitness room for the night.
When we arrived in Charlotte I immediately sent him off to buy a new ball. It was bigger and better than my original. I spent all of Christmas Morning on the ball keeping Everett happy while we opened gifts.
Everett's First Christmas
We deflated the ball and took it back home with us. From that point on whenever I left town I would deflate the ball and reinflate it at my destination. Only recently have I left it at home.
This year the blog could be called “The Website Built on a Yoga Ball” because I would guess 65% of my work has been done while bouncing Everett on the ball. Recently it hasn’t been as much but the first 8 months I was on it for 2-5 hours a day. Eventually I stopped having aches. I never noticed when it happened. Someone remarked that I must have a strong core from bouncing all day. Honestly, the bonus “fitness” aspect never occured to me until then. Who knows? Maybe the ball is why I shrank back down to a size 2 pretty soon after Ev was born.
Remember that awesome animation I made about cloth diapers many months ago? 10 of the 12 hours I worked on it were spent with Ev in my arms. I animated it frame by frame, one handed, while bouncing. The Cloth Diaper Finder? The original spreadsheet of 105 diapers that would become the database was created while bouncing and typing one handed. And any time you see me at a Monday night #clothdiapers twitter chat I am probably bouncing and typing with one hand.
The majority of my video editing is done when he is asleep on me. Or at least it used to be. It was another activity I could do one handed. My husband bought a trackpad mouse for me when I also purchased new video editing software. This revolutionized my bouncing and working. My set up is as follows:
Trackpad mouse on left of keyboard. Keyboard in center. Laser mouse on right. Then I have a monitor in front and my laptop connected which acts as my second monitor when I need one. If Everett is nursing/sleeping on one side I can use my other hand and the mouse on that side. It increased my productivity.
Working
I never expected to be bouncing Everett to sleep after he was a year old. Then again, there was a time I didn’t expect I would ever co-sleep with a baby over a year old, or even nurse a baby that long. Funny how your expectations change. Even a few months back I assumed when I wrote this post when he turned a year old that it would be a farewell…..
These days I am on the ball 1 hour or two a day. I only have to give him a quick bounce at 12:30 for his nap. Some days he lets me lay him down, others I have to hold him or sleep with him. Luckily 12:30 is his brother’s nap time also so it doesn’t hold me back from playing with him. Each night around 8:30 he gets bounced to sleep. Same as naps, sometimes I can lay him down and others I am stuck with him. And when I lay him down he wakes an hour later and I get him again. If he would sleep in a carrier on me I could have had an easier time of all of this but he rarely did and never does now.
I have to remind myself, and my husband, that my first son was rocked and nursed to sleep until he was probably 18 months old. And he slept with me until about 20 months. Now? He is a fabulous sleeper! He goes to nap when I tell him and sleeps for 2-3 hours, and he sleeps all night long every night. Because of traveling for the holidays and some big changes coming soon in our lives I won’t be trying to change his habits anytime soon. And when we do I will be using the same method I used on Fletcher. That turned out just fine.
In a few years I will look back fondly on the thousands of hours I have logged while getting to hold my little baby. I will miss that time where he wants me to hold him and where I am his entire world. I don’t regret “spoiling” him because he is a baby. I’m thankful I found a solution that works for our family and keeps him happy. Overall, he is actually a pretty darn good baby.
If I could change one thing it would be……. the color of that damn ball. Now it is a part of my home decor and the orange really clases with my green couch and red chairs.
The silver lining to an otherwise gloomy day came to me at a SuperCuts. I know, I’m as surprised as you are about that one. I don’t dare get my hair cut in any mass chain cuttery with the actual name “Cut” in it, but I will take my son there to get a “3″ in the back and a “5″ on top.
The young lady who was cutting my son’s hair was beautiful, youthful, and personable. She immediately thought to ask if she could offer the reward of a “l-o-l-l-i” which I appreciated. Generally, I decline but since she secretly asked and my son needed some coaxing I reluctantly agreed.
With the promise of a lollipop, color of his choice, and an iPhone in hand to keep him still for the 10 minute clipper session, my son was ready for a trim.
The stylist and I, I’ll call her Beth, started talking. I commented at how great she was with my son. She went on to tell me how she came from a family with 5 brothers and sisters. She then told me that I reminded her of her own mother; young, with a child strapped to my person (I wore Everett in the Ergo on front and walked Fletcher in), and seemingly had it all together.
Then she asked my age, to which I responded “26.”
“How old were you when you had your first baby?”
“I was 23.”
She told me that is the age she wants to start her family, and she is just shy of 23.
Because she noticed my carrier she actually asked if I used cloth diapers. When the subject of cloth diapers comes up in real life I have to gauge the other person’s interest level. Do I bombard them with information and tell them what I do for work? Or do I just state that I do indeed use cloth diapers?
Since she seemed really interested I went with the first option. She asked about my favorite brands, and a few questions related to reviewing diapers for a living. Then we got to the good stuff: Homebirth.
The topic arose organically, we went from cloth diapers, to breastfeeding to homebirth. To my surprise, she was interested in pursuing a homebirth. She is still a little naive about it though, considering when I told her about my son being born at home she asked “Without any pain meds?!” in a surprised voice.
Maybe I am stereotyping, but never in a million years would I have pegged this young lady for a potential homebirther. Then again, I don’t consider myself in the “homebirth image” if there was such a thing. To the general public I assume a homebirther would have hairy legs, wear birkies, have a head scarf, and live in a Yurt. See the SNL Skit:
Beth was stylish, well accessorized, tan, an unnatural blonde, and so young!
I immediately told Beth that she should watch Business of Being Born, the documentary on the state of our Maternal Healthcare System in the US by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein.
Get this: she has already seen it! And that video is what inspired her to consider homebirth.
“I already know how doctors are in a rush to get things done and I see how that could mess things up.” she said.
I almost leapt out of my shoes! A young woman, not yet pregnant, has already seen The Business of Being Born and it impacted her enough to think critically about her future birth.
I gave her a brief description of how easy and amazing my own homebirth (Everett- 10-20-2010) was compared to my first son’s birth. Then I told her she had to read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. The film and the book are the things I suggest to anyone thinking of giving birth at home.
Business of Being Born really shows you WHY so many women end up having C-Sections and unplanned interventions. It fit my first birth to a T. Uncessecary Induction—>Constant Fetal Monitoring—–>Laboring in the Bed—–>Stronger Than Normal Contractions from Pitocin—->Epidural—–>Total loss of control and misery——->Crummy Birth Experience. I got a healthy baby out of it (although I believe he was induced too early- more on what my overdue baby taught me about my first induction) and I love my son, but it shouldn’t have been that way. I should have advocated for myself. I believed, as most people do, that the doctor and hospital staff had my best interest at heart. Maybe, but only if it fit into their schedule and their ideals of when a baby should appear.
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth is my Bible for natural childbirth. One doesn’t have to have a homebirth to benefit from the lessons inside. No truer words have ever been spoken about any topic than when Ina May eloquently explains “Sphincter Law.” Ever try to shit with someone watching you? Didn’t work out so well? Try the same effort (pushing) with 5 unfamiliar faces watching your crotch under a harsh light. Or, conversely, try having a BM in your own peaceful bathroom, alone, in normal conditions. Doesn’t giving birth on your turf, in your home, make sense? I’ve already professed my love for this book, you can read more if you want.
I’d like to think my chance encounter with Beth, and my positive homebirth experience, has only solidified her desire to look further into homebirth (and cloth diapers!). Even though she is only 4 years younger than me, she is in the next group of women in line to give birth. As with all things, the ripple effect of her deciding to homebirth will reach others. Her friends, her family, her own children.
I was one of the lucky ones. My labor resulted in a vaginal delivery. For that I am so grateful. This isn’t always the case, clearly, because the C-Section rate in the US is 32.9%. {The Unneccesarean}
I want the Beths of the world to know the facts. Understand their rights, not just as a woman, but as a person.
Even if Beth decides to give birth at a hospital, with an OB or Midwife, she should ask questions. “Why do you say I HAVE to have the baby by 39 weeks? Why do I need this test? Do I have to have a cervical dilation check? Can I walk around during labor?” Not every OB is bad, and not every Midwife is good. A woman can have a good birth experience at a birth center, even a hospital, if she asks the right questions and finds the right care provider. More importantly, her partner has to advocate for her against any outside pressures.
My mistake was the same one that every other mother makes. I trusted a broken system.
I want to run into a million more Beths and talk about homebirth and cloth diapers and breastfeeding. Not in a pushy way, or a “holier than though” way, but just a way. They say knowledge is power right? Since schools and universities don’t teach “How to Have a Baby 101″ the conversation is up to those of us who know. Unfortunately for many of us, we learned the hard way.
So next time a subject you are passionate about presents itself in a SuperCuts, go for it. You may just make a huge difference in someone’s life, or look like a crazy. Take that risk, option B won’t kill you if it happens.
How many people have you had the chance to chat with about your chosen passion subject(s)? Do you think you made an impact? How do you handle not coming off as a zealot while hoping to make a difference/ educate?
Wasting breast milk should be a crime punishable by the Iron Maiden. Breast Milk is the most amazing liquid on the planet. It hydrates, it nourishes, it heals, it comforts, it is pure awesomesauce.
So when I decided to leave my son with his father while I attended BlogHer ’11 in San Diego I was immediately hit with the prospect of pumping milk for 4 days. My first thought would be to bring it home with me because simply dumping it was out of the question! Then I realized what an ordeal that would be. Even if I somehow procured Dry Ice to pack it into a cooler for the 8+ hour trip home I would face the TSA. Would I get an educated agent who understood how to handle breastmilk? Or an agent who demanded I taste my milk or scan it in an X Ray machine?
Then it hit me: Donate it! Yes! I would find a mother local to San Diego who had a baby in need of breast milk. Even if I only had 50 ounces isn’t that something? Of course it is! And lightning struck again when I decided to blog about my donation plans to enlist other lactating mothers! It was brilliant (in my humble opinion.)
For any of you unaware, there are various ways a person can donate breast milk.
One would be donating to a Milk Bank. A Milk Bank would screen the donor through blood tests and the milk is then pasterurized or otherwise turned into other forms of milk for babies. Even though donors are not getting paid for the milk the banks do charge a (hefty) price for human milk. A great read regarding Milk Banks and the human milk business is on JWOC {Swindled: The Ugly Side of Milk Donation} I would recommend reading this if you are considering donating to a Milk Bank in order to be informed about what happens to your milk in many cases.
Peer Milk Sharing involves direct person to person donations. Utilizing online or in person connections women can donate milk to one another for various reasons. It is really up to the donor and recipient to be honest and up front regarding health concerns or medications being taken. Reasons for peer milk donations range from intolerance to formula, adoptive parents, and help for cancer patients.
BlogHer Milk Recipient. CUTE!
I knew a Peer to Peer Milk Share would be the best in my situation. I was staying at a hotel so I would need to the recipient to pick up the milk. I chose Eats on Feets and after a quick search, found their Facebook Page for Southern California. After posting my plans on the page I quickly got an email from a mother who needed the milk. Her son had been tongue tied and he was clipped but she pumped and was having supply issues. The baby wasn’t doing well on formula and tolerated breast milk much better.
I responded that I would at least have my own milk but potentially the milk from a few other moms.
Word spread through the internet about my plan. I had comments on my blog post, tweets from other attendees, and emails asking to be involved. Another mom created a Facebook Group for moms pumping at BlogHer (regardless of donating) and we kept in touch in this way.
At BlogHer I found even more moms! Purely by coincidence I chatted with a mother at a party who was pumping and boy am I glad I did! Molly of Milwaukee Mamas.com turned out to be our biggest “producer” and needs an award for her amazing supply! Her milk was a large percentage of the total we donated! Other attendees also spread the word in person.
I want to send a HUGE THANK YOU to all of the moms who donated. We had 1 time pumpers who were away from older nurslings and others like myself who had babies under a year old and lots of milk was still flowing! 1 oz or 100 ounces, these women took time to save their milk instead of the easy path of dumping it down the drain. They have my gratitude!
In no particular order here are the moms I know who donated:
And One Employee of the Convention Center handed me a bag too (and was asked of any meds/etc first of course)
That is a grand total of 14 (including myself)
All I can say is Wow. I have tears in my eyes just typing out the list of Moms involved. I am so amazed at the hugeness of this donation, the willingness of so many women to donate, and the overall positive outcome. Most people don’t even know that breast milk donation is an option, so to have so many involved is truly amazing and such a testament to the caliber of women who attend BlogHer!
Just 1 of 2 Bags
In order to collect every possible drop of breastmilk I was able to wrangle Jill (Baby Rabies) to meet up with our milk recipient on Sunday morning. I had to leave our hotel at 4:15 am so having anyone meet that early would have been crazy. Instead, I collected as much milk as possible the night before (and ran back and forth from the North and South Towers of the hotel about 5 times!) then dropped it off to Jill at 12:30 am (after I pumped for the last time) where her fridge was already stocked with milk. I have a feeling our baby recipient is going to gain a few pounds- let’s just say that Jill and Suzanne both make milk with extra cream! It resembled yogurt- no lie! And in case you are curious, we all wrote our names on our own bags of milk. If Sam shows any sort of negative reaction to the milk hopefully it will be possible to trace to one mother and they can discontinue using those bags.
Jill met with Jen (Life with Levi) in the morning for her milk and the milk we pumped at the party. They delivered the milk to our mom (I hate that I couldn’t be there myself but getting more milk was more important!) on Sunday morning and it all went smoothly. I am so relieved!
In total we had 70 bags of milk. Most had 4 ounces (or more) in each bag. My guess is we had 350 ounces at least but to be safe let’s say 300 ounces were donated.
300 Ounces.
Suddenly, the inconvenience of pumping was replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling. Sam, our little donor baby, has been drinking the breastmilk and Mom says his tummy is already acting better compared to the formula. Luckily they had lots of room in the freezer!
Blissed out and in a Breastmilk Coma.
So next year, New York City, if you are going to be pumping at BlogHer ’12, just let me know! We’ll be doing the same through Eats on Feets in August 2012. I may not be breastfeeding by then (who knows) but I will be happy to coordinate another BlogHer Breast Milk Donation.
Anyone can donate breastmilk at any time! If you have a freezer overflowing with milk, or have an oversupply, or just want to donate, locate an Eats on Feets or Human Milk for Human Babies Chapter in your area!
I returned home Sunday evening from attending BlogHer ’11, the largest female blogging conference around. My goal was to learn new things at the numerous sessions that were held by leading bloggers and to network with/ get fan-girly over the many bloggers I follow or converse with.
I was able to do all of those things (and more) but this post has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the thing that hung over my trip like a {leaking} black cloud: My Lactating Boobs.
I chose to leave both of my children, including the nursing one, at home with their dad. I pumped every day for a month and saved 140 ounces of breastmilk for him (my original goal was 100). Then I had to leave him. Unfortunately there is no such thing as a temporary “Shut Off” valve for boobs. They are on until the baby is finished.
I have said it before: I despise pumping. There is never a convenient time to pump. At home it required the attendance of my husband to watch the kids so they didn’t get into trouble or the voo-doo magic of television. Without kids, pumping is quite a bit easier in many ways but at a hectic and overbooked conference who wants to run to a hotel room and sit stationary while being milked?
I didn’t want to but that is what I did.
The journey began on Thursday. I left for the airport at 3:30 am for a 5:40 am flight. I made sure to nurse my son on both sides when he woke up at about 2:40 am. I packed my Hygeia Enjoye in a purse along with clear plastic bags for parts, bags for milk, and the bottles and flanges in another bag.
Luckily the Hygeia Enjoye, when charged, can be used without being plugged in!
My first flight was only 45 minutes and by the time it was over I was so ready to pump! The problem was that I only had half an hour between flights. My next flight was in another terminal and required being shuttled over. I rushed to the gate and it had just started boarding. I had an important decision to make: Skip pumping and risk exploding all over the plane and/or trying to either hand express or pump in an airplane bathroom, or, pump in a small window of 20 minutes and risk missing my flight!
I made a rash decision and bumped my way to the gate attendants.
“Hi….. umm….. I am on this flight.”
“Ok.”
“So I need to pump.”I whispered to both attendants but made eye contact with the female.
“Ma’am I can’t hear you, speak louder.” Of course.
“I NEED TO PUMP OUT BREAST MILK BEFORE THIS 5 HOUR FLIGHT!”
The male gate attendant was the one who spoke up.
“Alright. You better do it now. I’m not kidding. I’ll hold the flight for you but you HAVE to do it RIGHT NOW. Go.”
“Thank you Thank You THANK YOU!”I said and ran away after he got my name and seat number.
A quick glance of the airport let me know that it was too busy to attempt pumping in a secluded corner so I went to the bathroom. I have only nursed in a bathroom once in my life but pumping is not as discreet.
I packed myself, a rolling suitcase, and a giant purse into the stall and set about trying to screw in bottles, insert tubing, put on my Hands Free Nursing Bra from Pumpease, and keep the pump balanced on my suitcase. I turned the dial to ON and relied on the quiet pump coupled with the busting bathroom to disguise what was going on.
That experience turned me into a permanent believer in, and cheerleader of, the Pumpease. I actually stood there and was pumped while Tweeting and taking photos of myself since I wanted to share the hilarity.
Right as I began squeezing Lefty to get the rest out since he is a bad pumper I heard the intercom announce that everyone on flight blah blah needed to be on board bound for San Diego. Shit.
I put my parts back in the bags, threw myself back together, washed my hands and ran! The male attendant and I smiled at one another and the next leg of travel began.
I strongly considered trying to pump on the plane since my seatmate was snoozing and I had a pleasant position in the bulkhead but I held off until landing.
Once on the ground I booked it to the nearest bathroom to relieve myself. This time I saved my milk since freshly expressed breastmilk can stay out before being refrigerated/frozen for 4 hours.
The rest of the weekend and conference I had the luxury of pumping in my hotel room. I even took my pump to another attendee’s room (Jenn of Life With Levi) who held a Pumping Party in her room. many of the participants also donated their breast milk along with me (more on this tomorrow, but read more about my initial plans here). I will admit to missing out on quite a few things due to the pumping. I don’t regret it but it is part of the package.
Admittedly, I was a bad pumper. On my busiest days I only pumped 4 times when I should have gotten to it at least 5 times. The first full day and night in San Diego I woke at 5 am totally engorged since my son nurses at night. I hand expressed in the bathroom enough to let me go back to sleep until a more reasonable hour to pump!
The biggest lessons I learned from being an EP (Exclusively Pumping) Mom for 4 days:
Breastfeeding is Way Easier.
Pumping takes more Prep Time and Clean-up time.
Working Moms who Pump have a ton of logistical challenges, especially when faced with nowhere to pump.
Traveling and Flying Moms who pump have it even harder. There is no telling where your layover will be and what facilities you will have to pump in.
To avoid washing parts all of the time store them in a freezer bag in your fridge between sessions (reader tip)
Hand compressing your breast while pumping is helpful if you have a stubborn boob that doesn’t want to drain.
A great Double Electric Pump is needed and a battery powered one is worth every penny.
A hands free nursing bra will save your life.
Keep a dribble cloth handy.
Pumping is HARD work when you consider the alternative of either breastfeeding a baby directly, or bottle feeding a baby formula. In the earliest days of my first son’s life a pediatrician told me that it was OK to give up, some babies just don’t ever latch properly. I could do as his wife did and just pump and bottle feed. (Yes, a Pediatrician actually told me this!)
I thought hard about his statement. My baby would still be geting breastmilk afterall, and I could skip the torturous nursing sessions that were leaving me shaking and crying from the pain. Instead, I decided I would work with the Lactation Consultant and use a Nipple Shield until we had this thing figured out.
Even though I was about to breastfeed successfully there are certainly warranted cases of mothers who need to pump full time, and those who pump while working or away. I already knew how admirable that was (seriously, pumpin’ mamas get my respect) but after experiencing EP first hand for 4 days I admire them even more! Pumping gives the baby the benefit of breastmilk but requires so much more work. It also made me understand a little more why some mothers end up switching to formula after they return to work. I am so lucky to get to stay home with my boys and that makes breastfeeding so easy. I honestly don’t know what would happen if I had to work for it.
Tomorrow’s Post will be about the 300+ Ounces of Breastmilk collected from over 10 moms at BlogHer to be donated. Rock on.
Even though I’m being sponsored by these companies in some way I am telling the truth when I say that I love them! Thanks again to Swaddlebees and Boba for their generous sponsorship that got me to BlogHer and to the other companies that made my boobies weigh less, look perkier, and be more productive!
When this post publishes I will probably be a few thousand feet in the *hopefully* blue sky on the way to San Diego for BlogHer ’11. The irony for me during this year’s World Breastfeeding Week is that for half of it I’ll be on the other side of the country and away from my nursling.
140.25 Ounces of Blood, Sweat, and Tears
As a psuedo Attached Parent this is a logistical and emotional nightmare. I pumped virtually every single day for 30 days to make sure my baby would have enough of my milkshake for 4 days. I was aiming for the low number of 100 but I made it to 140.25 ounces of liquid gold. It would have been 144.25 ounces but one of my bags mysteriously leaked out. I may have cried. I seperated my milk into freezer bags with about 29 ounces in each bag, one per day. And then there is another bag with 25 ounces extra in case he needs it. I got that tip from a Twitter user and it is a fabulous one!
Everett has always taken a bottle so thankfully that is not an issue. My first son never took a bottle, ever. This meant I was never away from him more than 2 hours at a time for the entire first year and beyond). Still I have never left Fletcher for more than 8 hours and I’ve really never left him overnight either. I even gave birth at home to avoid that for crying outloud!
I trust that my chunky monkey will take his bottles and even eat solids to stay alive. Thank Goodness for small miracles.
My heart
But here is the kicker: he sleeps in bed with me every night and has since he was born. Sure he spent a few hours here and there in his hammock, Mamaroo, or crib- but the majority of his nights are in the crook of my arm. He has slept wonderfully since day one. He sleeps all night starting at 7:30- 8:30 pm until 6:30- 8:00 am. He wakes to eat then turns his head and falls back asleep. I can count the number of times I’ve had to get out of bed to get him back to sleep on my fingers and toes (he is a baby afterall). If it weren’t for co-sleeping I know I would have lost a lot more sleep. That is all well and good until you take me out of the equation.
I need your help! What have you done when you leave your co-sleeping, Exclusively Breastfed baby home with Daddy? Did Daddy sleep with the baby in your bed? Did he rock the baby back to sleep each time they woke and put them back in the crib? Did the baby demand a middle of the night bottle? I am so clueless…
My husband is a deep sleeper and refuses to sleep with Everett since he is so young. He will sleep with Fletcher when the rarity occurs that he ends up in our bed.
I’m hoping you, my wonderful and knowledgable readers, will offer your nuggets of wisdom to my husband. I have instructed him to read this post and comment/ ask questions if he needs to. A part of me thinks he has no idea what he is getting into but the other part is confident he can handle it. He has really grown into a wonderful father. I don’t think I would have considered this when my first son was 9 months old even if he did take a bottle. That is probably more to do with my first time mom jitters than anything but I definitely see how much hubby has grown in the 2.5 years he has been a dad.
I’m leaving him with a long list of cloth diaper washing instructions, breastmilk storage, heating, and handling instructions, the boy’s (general) nap and bedtime schedule, and a house full of clean clothes/diapers. I’ll also be leaving him with my Boba for Everett. It is my manliest and best fitting carrier for him.
If there is any silver lining to being away from a nursing baby for 4 days during World Breastfeeding Week it is that I will be able to donate my pumped milk to another mother through Eats on Feets. I’ve never donated milk before but I am thrilled that my liquid gold won’t be going down a drain.
Wish me luck on my first trip away from my family (and hopefully last for a long time.)
A HUGE THANK YOU to Swaddlebees and Boba for their generous sponsorship that is getting me to BlogHer and to the other companies making my boobies weigh less, look perkier, and be more productive! Much love coming at ya!
{RSS and Mobile Readers will need to click over to see the video}
Trying to choose between the three most popular and well known brands of Soft Structure Carriers (also known as Buckle Carriers) on the market? As I see it, the ERGOBaby, the Beco Butterfly II, and the Boba are the most compared and inquired about SSC’s on the market today. Since I have used all three with both of my children I have decided to film videos comparing each carrier in different aspects of usage. The videos will be a visual reference for my written comparisons.
A Soft Structure Carrier is easier to use than Wrap, Mei Tei’s, and Ring Slings in most ways. Even though they take practice the learning curve is lower.
You can nurse any age baby in the three carriers in the video (Boba weight limit is 15 lbs +) but the adjustments will vary based on the height of your baby and your own build. Those with larger busts or taller babies might need to loosen their waist belt and push it lower so that the baby can reach the breast. At times I need to do this with the Boba.
My tips for successful and easy breastfeeding in a SSC.
Find the right SSC. Out of the three carriers I use my ERGObaby and Boba the most for front carries. If I know I will be nursing I definitely skip my Beco. The ERGO works great for infants up. You can purchase the infant insert to wear your baby from day one in the ERGO. The Boba is built for larger babies over 15 pounds or above a year. Ev can still be nursed in the Boba but he sits low since the back panel is higher than the Ergo.
Ensure your straps are adjusted properly. I have found the perfect balace on my SSC’s with my back strap, position and tightness of my waist belt, and arm straps. With a front carry you have to be able to reach your back clip (unless you clip ahead of time and do the one arm on, squeeze in method.) You ca tighten the back once you have the baby inside the carrier also. Incorrect adjustments will be an uncomfortable experience for you and nobody wants that!
Getting instructions and hands on help from another- more experienced- babywearing mama can really speed up the learning curve for any carrier hold and/or trick. Find a Babywearing International or other trustworthy group to join. Not only will you enjoy the meetings and learn a lot, you will probably be with your “tribe.”
Dress for Success(ful Boob Access). Breastfeeding in a SSC or any other carrier is far easier when you can pull up and out of your top. Pulling a shirt up while wearing your baby in a ring sling is not only hard to do but it can be less than flattering to show your stomach openly. Usually the carrier squishes things down in all the wrong places. Deep V necks, stretchy tank tops, button-up shirts, nursing tanks, shirts designed for nursing with a lift up or slit opening, anything that can be undone or give access to one boob from the top is perfect. If you are worried about showing too much remember that the straps cover most of what can be seen. More ideas for dressing to nurse in public in my “How to Nurse in Public” post.
Practice makes perfect. Trying this at a crowded fair for the first time isn’t going to work well. You will be nervous, you may be clumsy, and your baby will be hungry and impatient. If that hungry baby starts crying they might be harder to latch when you do get them into position. Try nursing in your SSC in your home and when the baby isn’t hungry yet (and in a good mood).
I have nursed both of my children in the ERGO and Boba (only a few times in the Beco) out in public in about as many places as I have visited. On Paddle Boats, Subways, Museums, Fairs, Malls, Outdoor Walks, and so on. I can guarantee you the general public had no clue that I was nursing my baby. Even though I find it easier to nurse in a ring slingwhen making adjustments, once I did it a few (billion) times in my SSC I became just as fast when making adjustments. When I first started it took a while. Another point to make is that that straps do get more pliable over time so that does affect how well the buckle slides and affects how easy it is to adjust.
I’ll be continuing this series of ERGObaby/ BBII/ Boba videos in the coming weeks. You can view all of the posts and videos in the series by following the ERGObaby/BBII/Boba Series.
, the documentary on the state of our Maternal Healthcare System in the US by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein.
