Categorized | Breastfeeding

“Oh, I’m Sorry, I didn’t realize you were breastfeeding…”

How often do you hear that sentence?  In the past month, I have heard it once and experienced it wordlessly one other time.

While flying back from Charlotte NC I was alone with my son.  I don’t even want to count how many times we have flown by ourselves.  The only way I would consider it is if I am babywearing (godsend for flying, let me tell you) and nursing (godsend for inside of the airplane).  Since I am still able to do both it was no biggie.

On the flight from Charlotte to JFK I sat next to a large, but nice and friendly man who was more than happy to make conversation with Fletcher and I.  Once the plane took flight I knew what I needed to do to make everyone’s experience positive.  Nurse.  It was nap nap time for my son, and time for me to watch TV on Jetblue!  I was wearing a nursing tank, the Hotslings Milk Daze (which I am reviewing and hosting a giveaway for soon!!!) and I pulled over one layer and latched him on.  All the while, the man next to me is chatting us up.  I didn’t want to say anything to him, but I assumed he would figure out what I was doing and pay attention to his screen.

Instead, he continued talking to me.  He even tried peering over to see if my baby was asleep.  He seemed completely oblivious.  Since I am not shy at nursing in public, and I knew my nipples were covered by baby and my breast was mostly covered by my tank, I wasn’t offended.  Maybe, if I had a regular tank top on and my breast was pulled out of the top, I would have made more of an effort to tell him what was actually happening.  ”No sir, my son isn’t asleep yet, but he is breastfeeding.”

Soon, he did go to sleep, and I put on my headphones for the universal sign of “I would like to relax and discontinue conversation, thank you.”  Our conversation ended until landing and he never was the wiser.

Just a few days ago, a similar situation occurred.  I was at the mall with a friend, and she was chatting with someone she knew.  My son was a little hungry, and very grumpy.  After the usual tactics to calm him and save my sanity, I went to the tried and true: milkies.

We sat on a bench while they chatted and I pulled my sweater up and unhooked my nursing bra.  He laid across my lap and had a light snack.  Then, a woman and her 2 year old daughter came to the bench.  She stood her daughter up on the bench to outfit her in the proper winter attire to leave the mall.  That day, it was a full suit because it was freezing!

Next to me I saw the most adorable shoes I have ever seen.  They were Mary Janes with pandas on the tip.  I was dying!  I struck up a conversation with the woman and commented on her daughter’s shoes.  We chatted while they got dressed (the girl also had a matching hat and mittens!).  When they were close to leaving my son finished so I sat him up and pulled my sweater down.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were breastfeeding.”  I let her know it was no trouble, and nothing to be sorry about.  It was a normal thing we were used to doing.  Then she let me know she nursed her daughter til she was 16 months, and only weaned at her daughter’s cues.  That was a wonderful thing to hear!  Not many mothers make it to toddlerhood.  I think we had a little “bonding” moment as we gushed about how much we loved nursing our babies.  Then we said goodbye.

Encounters like this always make me wonder, what is the big deal about nursing in public?  There is always a way to be discreet (unless you simply don’t want to, which is another matter) and nurse with no breast visibility.  Maybe, if you are very large busted it is harder or impossible.  I have never had one of those so I don’t know!

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  • http://ameyawarde.blogspot.com Ameya

    my boobs are pretty huge, and i’m too chicken to NIP yet. So i’m not sure. I think with the right kind of nursing top it would be okay, but it’d be impossible doing what i’m doing right now & hanging out of the neck of my shirt. very obvious! Since Killian is only a month old, we also haven’t been out enough to need to NIP yet. I’ve nursed at family’s houses & at my midwives, i usually just use an udder cover (my nurse was SO impressed by it! She nursed under blankets) or one just like it that my MIL made. I do have a Baby Bond nursing cover that i’m hoping to get the hang of once i get the hang of nursing (we’re sill working on it!).

  • http://allaboutcub.blogspot.com Nikki

    I’m so glad this was a positive post about breastfeeding in public! I love the term “milkies”. :) Ha! Thaks for sharing!
    .-= Nikki´s last blog ..Happy Holidays! =-.

  • http://danceswithdiapers.blogspot.com Jennifer B

    I have nursed just about everywhere and continue to nurse as long as my baby will do it. She’s not quite nine months yet. I nursed my first son while I was shopping in Target. The right nursing top can really help, and no one was ever the wiser. They all thought he was asleep as I carried him peacefully in my arms. I’ve nursed in several airports. Neither of my children ever took kindly to a nursing cover, and understandably, it gets very hot and stuffy in there, even if the fabric is very thin and has a stiff part on top so you can see them. If I have any “extra” showing, I usually throw a burpy cloth over it and hope for the best. Occasionally the baby pulls it off, but I just put it back on and go about my business. The last unexpected nursing happened while I was grocery shopping. It was that or let her scream, seriously. While I don’t want to show my breast off, I actually want people to know that I’m nursing. I wish people would just get used to it and recognize it not only as “normal” but as AWESOME. I have actually struck up a conversation with a mama just because I saw her nursing somewhere (which is extremely rare where I live – Ironic, considering Miami is the home of wearing skimpy outfits and enhanced bustlines!!) So anyway, I’m glad you too nurse everywhere Kim. Keep up the great work!
    .-= Jennifer B´s last blog ..Be-Frazzled =-.

  • http://www.theinquisitivemom.blogspot.com Mindy

    I was much shyer with my first, but it gets old worrying about it after awhile. I am discreet. I’ve never understood why just the “idea” of a woman, completely covered, nursing a baby makes people flee a room. I’m so grateful for friends who also breastfeed, so our husband’s don’t even blink when someone nurses a baby. A friend of mine had her daughter pull up her shirt to nurse her doll and I thought that would be the ultimate compliment!

    :0) happy holidays!
    .-= Mindy´s last blog ..Post-It Note Tuesday: Christmas is Here! Edition =-.

  • http://wilson-family-adventure.blogspot.com/ Angela

    I’m always excited to see positive blog posts about BF-ing. My pregnant sister is on the fence about BF-ing her child, but I have done what I could to encourage it. I also bought her a nursing cover just in case that is part of her hesitation.

    I will forward your post for her to read.
    .-= Angela´s last blog ..Early Christmas Gift =-.

  • http://www.teachinauntie.blogspot Stephanie

    It’s taken 9 weeks but my family is finally comfortable with me NIP (even when that “public” is my living room or my In-laws living room!!)

    I am a 38 JJJ. I have HUGE boobs compared to the rest of me! Even I can nurse discreetly WITHOUT a cover anywhere my baby & I go!

    B/c I’m so large I do not have a nursing bra that fits, I have to stick my arm in my shirt, pull 1/2 my bra off & pop my boob through my nursing shirt. Maybe an inch of flesh shows, but my nipple & areola are covered by my son!

    I love being a nursing mom & it is not “awkward” at all to me to NIP…I need to feed my baby!

  • http://www.thismilitarymama.com This Military Mama

    I breast feed my daughter until I was 20 months old. Honestly she still is very attached to the boobs and I think we would still be breast feeding if I hadn’t chosen to stop. As much as I loved it, we really wanted her to start sleeping in her own bed [since we wanted to start trying to have another]. I breast feed her everywhere! On planes, off planes, in a car, in a moving car [that was tricky let me tell you!], at the mall, at stores. Anywhere any everywhere! We had a cover or a blanket for times where more coverage was need and only RARELY did I move to some place out of the public eye, like at a friend’s house who had a teenage boy who was very very aware of certain body parts or if a friend who really was uncomfortable about it [sadly I did have one of those friends].

    My next baby is due in May and I can’t wait to breast feed him or her too! I’m really excited about it!
    .-= This Military Mama´s last blog ..Sneak Peek! =-.

  • Emily

    I just wanted to give a thumbs up to your post! I’m definitely an advocate for breastfeeding – and extended breastfeeding – and nursing in public or anywhere else a nursing baby needs to eat. I have three kids (with 26 months between each one) and nursed the oldest two until they were 2yo. I really wanted to nurses them longer and tandem nurse but my 7-8mo pregnant body always gets so tired that I usually offer it less and they weaned right at 2yo. I hope to not be pregnant this time around and plan to nurse my current 10mo at least until she’s 2 years old.

    It is very easy for me to be discreet. Sometimes when they are really little it is harder for me to be as discreet and I need to be exposed more so I just cover up with a light homemade nursing shawl. I’m not out to make people uncomfortable but if my baby needs to nurse I will do so. But I also don’t care for people to see all my parts so I will cover up if I can’t be discreet. And then, of course, as they become more distracted by what is going on around them as they nurse and they pop on and off can be tricky…but that just calls for a quick hand to pull the up and shirt down as needed. :-)

    Thanks for sharing your experiences. :-)

  • http://skemommlenskedaddle.blogspot.com/ Ammie

    :) This sounds exactly like breastfeeding should be. Yay!

    BTW, My son never learned to suck properly, so I pump. I have yet to learn how to discreetly pump in public. ;) No worries, though, since pumping takes much too long to let a child run around unattended, and often exclusively pumping mamas can work down to just a few pumpings a day.
    .-= Ammie´s last blog ..where have I been, what have I been? =-.

  • JJ

    I am so happy to hear positive experiences… my daughter is 3 months old and I am just getting the hang of nursing at my in-laws without going into the basement, etc etc… it’s that moment that baby pops off and nursing bra goes back up that I can’t figure out.. nipple is OUT. i also have big bewbies which doesn’t help…

  • Brenda

    What a great post! I am currently ( I hate saying still) nursing my almost 28 month old. I nursed her on the plane, when we went to FL this summer and I specifically took Jet Blue, so that either people or my daughter would be distracted by the tvs! We nursed all around Disney, quite honestly I can’t think of a place I haven’t nursed her?? I can even nurse her, stay attached while walking the dog and lean down to pick up his poop! Not a pretty picture but it can be done. I couldn’t have done any of this without babywearing – I still wear her! Also, I really think I have a face that says don’t mess with me, and I always look people in the eye – so I have never been told to stop nursing or been directly given a rude look. I have been told by friends or family walking behind me that someone gave a “look of shock or disgust” but – I just feel that I enlightened them! I love hearing positive stories of nursing in public, and I hope for a time that it is not such a big deal and just an accepted practice.

  • http://mommyisrocknroll.com Lauren

    Great story! Usually it’s the guys that look away or even leave the room. I use a cover around my male family members and male friends because I know it will make them uncomfortable. No matter how much I try to normalize breastfeeding around them it’s still BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS to them. If I’m around only women I will nurse without a cover. And if I’m in public it just depends. If I’m at the park I’ll do it sans cover or if I accidentally leave my cover at home. My kiddo likes to unlatch to look around and my breasts are huge so discreet breastfeeding is a little out of the question.

  • http://marfmom.wordpress.com Maya

    Great post! My family made a big deal out of me NIP so I always used a cover which is kind of the opposite of discreet, if you think about it. Next time around no cover for me. It was frustrating for my son after a few months and just added another step in the preparing-to-nurse process that didn’t work for us.

    But Angela, I’m like you. When I have friends who are considering breastfeeding I always gift them with a cute cover in case that would make them feel more comfortable. It certainly made me feel better early on in my and my son’s nursing relationship. :-)
    .-= Maya ´s last blog ..Failed Attempts =-.

  • http://www.ourlifeupstate.com Upstatemomof3

    What awesome, awesome experiences. I had quite the opposite experience recently. I was with a mom while I was in Ethiopia. She was going on and on about the poverty. I was nodding and agreeing although thinking I had not really seen it. I loved it there and overall the area I was in did not seem destitute. But then she told me about how she could see the poverty all around. The thing she said she noticed most (and made her the saddest) was the women breast feeding their babies on the street. That they walk around and do not care if anyone knows – that breastfeeding in and of itself was something only poor women did. *sigh*
    .-= Upstatemomof3´s last blog ..Christmas Traditions =-.

  • mummatutu

    I am rather large breasted (no not large HUGE) anyway, I tried to BF my daughter but she would never latch long story about inverted “milkies” but I was able to pump and did that for almost 8 months. I would have never been able to BF in public discreetly so maybe it was for the better. I am not super shy about my milkies but would prefer strangers not “watch” me! Anyway, pumping was a great experience for me and I am super glad I stuck to it as long as I did. I know it gave my baby a great start! I had mostly great experiences with pumping my work was more than willing to accommodate the many pumping sessions I required and most of my friends and MY family were all for it! My IL’s however are a different story. They thought formula would be better for her! I never ONCE felt comfortable pumping at there house and never once felt supported in my decision when it came to them. They always made me feel like I was not a good mom because of it. I should not have let them bother me so much! I probably could have done it longer!!!

  • http://beccasclothdiaperblog.blogspot.com/ Beccalynn

    I love this story! More mom’s need to start breastfeeding in public so our culture will start accepting it as appropriate behavior.
    .-= Beccalynn´s last blog ..Make Your Own: T-shirt Fitted Diaper (with laundry flaps) =-.

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