Categorized | Co-Sleeping, Personal Post

…I Wish They Could Have Slept With Me Just A Little While Longer

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My husband caught this moment while we were on vacation.  It was the best nap of my life.

My husband caught this moment while we were on vacation. It was the best nap of my life.

This is my happy place.  It’s the place I look forward to being in as often as I can.  It’s the place where everything is peaceful, warm, safe, loving, and familiar.

Every night I start the evening off in my big comfy bed with my big comfy husband.  Some nights I don’t get the “call” to snuggle my youngest son until 5 am, some nights the call comes early at midnight.  On very rare occasions he never calls at all and I wake, confused, in my own bed and see daylight streaming into my own windows.  It doesn’t matter how old my kids get- if I’m not woken before 7 am I’m checking to make sure they are breathing before celebrating.

I’ve spent at least 30-50% of each night sleeping cuddled up with my 2.5 year old in recent memory.  In our earliest days he slept all night with me.  Now that he has a queen sized bed in his room I just sleep with him.

On our worst days when we are butting heads and my boys seem to be doing everything in their power to test my sanity- those are the days we need a family nap the most.

But more than co-sleeping at night, the thing that I look forward to most in life is co-napping with both of my little ones. I have two very cuddly boys who fight over who gets to cuddle with mommy. Punches have been thrown over the issue. My solution? A family nap. Mommy sandwich… if you will. And while I may play it off as a way to give each child their fair share of cuddle time with Mommy, secretly I’m overjoyed at a reason to slow down and savor time with my kids with no interruptions.

The primal mothering instinct in me prefers sleeping with my children.  When I’m sleeping in my room they are so far away it is unsettling and truthfully it often keeps me awake.  “Are the doors all locked?”  “What if one of them wakes up and leaves the house while I’m sleeping?”  Before our pool fence was installed the thoughts were of them escaping through the back patio door (even though they would need a key they couldn’t possibly obtain) and drowning in the pool.  Co-sleeping is my selfish way of sleeping deeper and more peacefully.  There- I said it!

Maybe the irrational thoughts stem from the fact that, about 2.5 years ago, a car drove into our duplex.  It drove into the house to our left, the mirror image of our floor plan, into the room that was the mirror image of Fletcher’s room.  Luckily, no one was harmed even though our neighbor’s young daughter was in that room at the time.  And yes, after that incident she began sleeping with her mother again.  I would have too.

So often I fight that inner battle when my oldest son won’t sleep in his own bed- should I make him sleep in his bed or should I give in and let him sleep in mine?  Usually a cuddle session in his bed will convince him to stay in his room… but sometimes he comes into my room and I can’t say no.  I try to put myself in his shoes and in his world where monsters could be real, and shadows could hide them…. where mommy’s presence takes away all those fears.  I have fond memories of crawling into my mother’s bed in the early morning hours and I see nothing wrong with him having those memories either.  In fact- I hope he looks back on this time of his life and feels loved and safe.  I’m a mama tiger protecting my young from the predators (both imaginary and real).  What could be safer for a child than sleeping next to a mother who sleeps light enough to hear even the quietest cry for “mama” or who can sense when her baby is close to the edge of the bed and will pull them in tighter and closer?

On our worst days when we are butting heads and my boys seem to be doing everything in their power to test my sanity- those are the days we need a family nap the most.  Both boys are calmed and centered by our cuddle time.  I can literally feel my older son’s bad mood slough off when he puts his head onto my bare stomach- his happy place- and centers himself.  It is warm body and heartbeat that can often reel him back in from his worst moods.  For Everett, it is a nursing session and a sweaty cuddle in the crook of my arm.  He still fits, but just barely, under my head.  Truth me told, I need that nap just as much as they do to quietly reflect on how much I love my boys; I love them more when the house is quiet and they are asleep in my arms and can forgive the tantrums and forget the messes they create.  I can soak up the pure love that emanates from their little bodies.  It is healing after a morning, like yesterday’s, when my oldest yelled loudly during a tantrum “I dont want nothing is this world!”  ”I don’t like anything except my room!” after refusing to buy him a ukelele.  As moms we have to pull them close when they are the worst and love them the most when it’s the hardest.

co-sleeping

I want to look back at this time in life when my boys are still almost babies and know that I took advantage of their willingness to still snuggle.  In the not so distant future my boys won’t want to lay in the crook of my arm with their heads on my shoulder.  I won’t get to run my fingers through their hair and my boys won’t tell me how comfy my squishy belly and boobies are.  I won’t be thinking… “I’m so glad I made my kids stay in their beds” because no child goes to college sleeping with their mothers.  I’ll be thinking…

“God, I wish they could have slept me me just a little while longer.”

 

 

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Kim Rosas began Dirty Diaper Laundry in 2009 out of a desire to help more parents understand modern cloth diapers. She lives in Florida with her husband of 5 years and her two boys. Even though none of her boys wear diapers anymore she is still just as committed to promoting them. In her spare time Kim enjoys video editing, photography, and coffee.
  • Kandice

    Perfectly said! ;)

  • Kristy Hughes

    I love this!

  • Kim

    yes, yes, yes.

  • Shalaina S

    I agree completely! Yesterday my oldest turned 7 and proudly professed she’s too old for naps :( On the opposite end of the spectrum I woke up with my 23 month old in the bad and it felt wonderful :)

  • http://alternativehousewife.com/ Janine Fowler

    I agree with all of this! If I ever wake up before my pre-preschooler, I am going to freak the eff out. I love sleeping with my babies. I hope more people start talking about it and making it less taboo so that bedsharing becomes safer for babies and more available to kids of all ages. :) :)

  • Rocklan

    My SO and I did not initially co sleep with our first. We used the crib and bassinet often. After spending the past months co sleeping with our first child I know that our next children will all be co sleeping from the very beginning!

  • Amy M

    I agree. But we need a bigger bed, things are crowded there is 3 of us.. Beyond crowded when there is 4!

  • Jennifer C

    I love this post! I absolutely love co-sleeping. I’m really going to miss the cuddles when my LO gets older and no longer wants to sleep with Mommy. I love waking up and seeing my LO’s face next to me or him waking me up.

  • Laura Middlebrooke Steen

    Some nights I wish I could give kisses, tuck my kids in and say goodnight. I know it will happen some day, and it will be one if the saddest days… The end of an era! That is what I tell myself when we (my 7 yo, 5 yo, 2 yo, husband and myself) play musical beds.

  • Maegan Washington

    This post is amazing. We currently co sleep with our 8 month old and I think it has saved us a bit of our sanity honestly. We sleep so much better when he is with us. I feel that he is much safer. And honestly I hated sleeping alone. It was almost scary to me and I don’t want my child to feel that way.

  • Bethany

    The morning before my wedding I was sleeping in my parents’ house in my old bedroom. I woke up early and went in to see them and ended up snuggling in bed with them. It was a really nice return to childhood.


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